Privacy Win: Texas Legalizes Shooting Google Maps Car On Sight

The Babylon Bee ^ | February 28, 2023 | The Babylon Bee

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

LEWISVILLE, TX — In a move privacy advocates are hailing as historic, Texas's state legislature has passed a batch of new laws allowing civilians to shoot Google Maps camera cars on sight.

"These new laws will allow Texans to exercise their God-given, constitutionally guaranteed, and morally necessary rights to blow away any of these creepy-crawly Googl-y spy cars." Texas Governor Abbott spoke to members of the press outside the statehouse, resting the heels of his hands on what onlookers called "comically large guns" on a "comically large belt with a comically large belt buckle" designed to look like a longhorn cow on a Texas flag logo.

Google Maps cars traverse cities and towns to help build the technology company's "street view" feature, but the company is expected to reconsider sending their camera-mounted cars through Texas's borders.

Texas lawmakers are expected to pass additional legislation allowing citizens to shoot down unwanted drones, bullseye credit card machines that request fingerprint authorization, and blast phones out of the hands of TikTok influencers.

At publishing time, Texas had also announced plans for legislation allowing Texans to fire their guns in the air to show their approval of things — something they were all doing anyway.

[MikelTackNailer]

Well, I scrolled down to see the photo of the:

"comically large guns" on a "comically large belt with a comically large belt buckle" designed to look like a longhorn cow on a Texas flag logo.

Does that mean they got me or that no amount of satire can trump what ought to be?

Can't see what they're packing but here's terrifying footage of the approaching posse.

[higgmeister]

My mother told a story on herself from when she was a little girl.   She somehow got a cotton seed stuck up her nose.   She went to my grandmother and said, "Momma, I got a wheezier."

Luckily cotton seeds still have a little bit of cotton still on the seed and my grandmother was able pull the seed out of my mother's nose with tweezers.

I like Wynona had herself a Big Brown Beaver but I always think of our family folklore too.