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Biden Taken to Coroner for Annual Physical
BabylonBee.com ^ | Feb 16, 2023 | BabylonBee.com

Posted on 02/17/2023 11:25:21 AM PST by Retain Mike

The Babylon Bee Fake News You Can Trust Biden Taken to Coroner for Annual Physical

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Biden is being lifted in Marine One to a local coroner for his annual physical exam, sources in Washington say.

"The President passed the exam with flying colors. His body is so life-like and well-preserved!" said a representative from the D.C. Medical Examiner's Office. "With a fresh injection of formaldehyde and some makeup, he looks like he's still with us! Just look at him — so peaceful. It looks like he's just sleeping!"

The President's Chief Medical Examiner is set to release his findings from the physical and is expected to clear the President for duty for another term. "President Biden's body is so youthful and vigorous. It is definitely one of the healthiest bodies I've ever seen. Wow. What a full, impactful life he lived. Er, um, I mean, is living. He's alive. The President is definitely still alive."

At publishing time, White House staff had received the President's body as it was delivered back to its resting place in the White House. They confirmed that the President is still very much alive and not dead at all and you are a mean person for asking.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine
KEYWORDS: biden; physical
For me the article brought memory of Billy Crystal as Miracle Max in The Princess Bride.

Miracle Max : You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Miracle Max : He probably owes you money huh? I'll ask him.

Inigo Montoya : He's dead. He can't talk.

Miracle Max : Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.

Inigo Montoya : What's that?

Miracle Max : Go through his clothes and look for loose change.

1 posted on 02/17/2023 11:25:21 AM PST by Retain Mike
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To: Retain Mike

2 posted on 02/17/2023 11:30:18 AM PST by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire, or both.)
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To: Retain Mike
You have to admit. gropey Joe looks almost as lifelike as Lenin.
3 posted on 02/17/2023 11:30:50 AM PST by Sirius Lee (They intend to murder us. Prep if you want to live and live like you are prepping for eternal life)
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To: Retain Mike
The title alone is a gem!

Loving the Bee!


4 posted on 02/17/2023 11:32:08 AM PST by Delta 21 (MAGA Republican is my pronoun.)
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To: BenLurkin

Tell Igor it’s marked “abnormal”.


5 posted on 02/17/2023 11:32:43 AM PST by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
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To: Retain Mike

Reminds me of the Benny Hill skit:

“That’s how I made my money, son, by cuttin’ out the middle man.”

“Oh no, I’m havin’ a heart attack....quick, son, call the doctor.”

“Well son, did you call the doctor?”

“No, Pop, I called the undertaker. I done like you always told me...I cut out the middle man”

“That’s my boy! *dies*


6 posted on 02/17/2023 11:34:59 AM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: Retain Mike

Insert Weekend At Bernie’s meme here.


7 posted on 02/17/2023 11:38:27 AM PST by Nateman (If Mohammad was not the Anti Christ Mad Moe definitely comes in as a Strong second..)
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To: Retain Mike

More accurate headline; Biden taken to coroner AFTER Brain/Cognitive test.


8 posted on 02/17/2023 11:41:06 AM PST by 1Old Pro
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To: Retain Mike

9 posted on 02/17/2023 11:41:53 AM PST by Nateman (If Mohammad was not the Anti Christ Mad Moe definitely comes in as a Strong second..)
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To: Retain Mike

Headline’s first four words=
My fantasy news flash!


10 posted on 02/17/2023 11:43:04 AM PST by lee martell
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To: Retain Mike

Joe got his annual formaldehyde booster.


11 posted on 02/17/2023 11:49:10 AM PST by seowulf (Civilization begins with order, grows with liberty, and dies with chaos...Will Durant)
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Lololol…appropriate


12 posted on 02/17/2023 11:57:13 AM PST by TnTnTn
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Lololol…appropriate


13 posted on 02/17/2023 11:59:47 AM PST by TnTnTn
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To: Retain Mike

Taxidermist?.....................


14 posted on 02/17/2023 12:06:46 PM PST by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: dfwgator

That was a long time ago

I caught part of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang years ago (15-20)

There was Benny Hill.....


15 posted on 02/17/2023 12:09:07 PM PST by SaveFerris (Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold ......)
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To: seowulf

LOL


16 posted on 02/17/2023 3:15:36 PM PST by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: dfwgator

LOL


17 posted on 02/17/2023 3:16:17 PM PST by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: Retain Mike

‘E’s not dead, ‘e’s pinin’ for the fjords!


18 posted on 02/17/2023 5:23:17 PM PST by Category Four (Joy, Fun, the Joke Proper, and Flippancy ... Flippancy is the best of all.)
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To: null and void; aragorn; EnigmaticAnomaly; kalee; Kale; AZ .44 MAG; Baynative; bgill; bitt; ...

p


19 posted on 02/17/2023 8:17:49 PM PST by bitt (<img src=' 'width=50%>)
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