-PJ
Posted on 02/10/2023 11:48:56 AM PST by BipolarBob
IRVINE, CA — FDA officials specializing in the field of genuine Mexican food have released a comprehensive, peer-reviewed report confirming no link between eating Taco Bell and immediately suffering from explosive diarrhea, and that Taco Bell was "safe and effective."
Some say the FDA's comprehensive meta-analysis may be enough to firmly place suggestions that Taco Bell causes a "Blitz in the Britches" to be unmistakable lies drummed up by conspiracy theorists.
"The Science has spoken, thus concluding Taco Bell to be the source of neither Trouser Slop, Heavy Shartillery, nor Chino Cappuccino," said FDA spokesman, Ron Schitzfeldt, "Anyone claiming their Cheesy Gordita Crunch Wrap Supreme™ led to an evening dancing the Dirty Dungaree Disco is willfully distributing misinformation and should be held accountable."
Mainstream media outlets reported on the FDA's claim distancing the fast-food chain from acute cases of the Battle of Waterloo and went further to insist that never, in the history of food franchises, have there been reports of Taco Bell causing a 21-Gun Gastric Salvo.
CNN's Don Lemon went so far as to purchase and eat a Taco Bell Spicy Double-Steak Grilled Cheese Burrito™ during his live 10:00 am segment in front of dozens of viewers. The broadcast was cut short, however, due to unknown technical difficulties, and not due to Lemon suffering a Crackpocalypse.
At publishing time, CDC officials had announced an investigation into why people who watched CNN were all getting diarrhea.
Checked out Taco Bells menu on the net some foods have a sodium alert PASS.
Thank you Babylon Bee!!! Love it...
Where else can you get gas for $1.89?
:)
-PJ
>> “Taco Bell is for 0200 when shithammered on Jack Daniels.”
>>I prefer Korbel Brandy.
Got it. Korbel Brandy is your goto when hammered on JD at 0200.😁
Sad thing is you can not tell anymore .
Scientists agree with that assessment—Uranus is where to find the answer!
I just spat my drink 😂
“21-Gun Gastric Salvo” is what got me 🤣
Thanks for posting this. Finally found some modern music that I like. Reminds me of vintage Hawkwind even though they are nothing alike.
“Got it. Korbel Brandy is your goto when hammered on JD at 0200.😁”
Together that would equal full surgical anesthesia.
Russian Hillbilly Bluegrass.
With mosh pit and caber tossing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFAQGDjKM10
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