Posted on 01/05/2023 8:38:18 PM PST by grundle
Julia Naftulin writes Insider's dating, sex, and relationships advice column Doing It Right.Julia Naftulin
My ex and I were high school sweethearts. We dated for 10 years, moved to two cities together, and talked about marriage.
In August 2021, my ex suddenly said he had to end the relationship to be alone. He said he didn't know if he could ever get married.
A year and a half later, I've learned how to practice self-compassion, ask for help, and find gratitude after grief.
When my ex-boyfriend sat me down to break up with me in August 2021, I didn't realize it was happening. He had to sit me down again the next day to make sure I understood. He needed to move on, alone, without me.
We dated for 10 years, starting during our junior year of high school. Throughout that time, we talked about marriage and moved to two different cities together. Sure, the pandemic put a strain on our relationship, but I thought it was par for the course. I imagined we could get through anything together because I loved him, our love, and the memories we shared. I loved how our high school friendship became so much more, how we grew up together, and how he felt like the first man who really wanted to know me. For him, I learned, that wasn't enough.
For a few months, I could barely eat or go a day without crying. It felt like my world had collapsed and I was left alone to figure out what to do with the rubble.
A year and a half later, after bouts of extreme sadness, anger, and confusion, I've found closure. It's something an earlier version of myself couldn't have imagined.
(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...
Some men aren’t worth loving. Let’s hope she warns all his new ‘girlfriends’...
A year and a half later, I've learned how to practice self-compassion, ask for help, and find gratitude after grief.
Most teenage boys learn how to "practice self-compassion" by the time they enter 9th grade. Helped them get through many a lonely night. However, I never "asked for help."
Regards,
George Costanza does the opposite:
Well said
My wife and I started dating our freshman year in high school. Obviously high school dating was a rocky start, but I asked her to marry me before we finished our senior year. She said no. I asked her to marry me in letters from Marine Corps boot camp, she said no. After boot camp I took her to a spot and begged her to marry me. She finally said yes.
February 1st will be our 36th Anniversary. I am thinking about keeping her.
My first thought was “I wonder what she did to him to make him want to leave?”
She’s a beautiful woman. I hope she finds someone.
+1
I am really glad you found him.
From a male perspective, and from someone that does not read emotions all that well, I would find the process you described really tough to do.
‘Pod
Bingo!
thats not a problem... some black dude will scoop her up... They like em thick!
It wasn’t marriage or lack thereof that was the problem. It’s that he left her. He could have married her and still done that.
My poor ex felt miserable and used in marriage. Many women do.
You said exactly what needed to be said.
Men don't tend to spill their guts to the world. It's not a conspiracy. You just don't find men who want to sit down at a computer and tell the world about the woman who dumped them.
” my ex suddenly said he had to end the relationship to be alone.”
Translation: He already had another girlfriend.
If he doesn’t want to marry you after four years chances are he’s not going to.
To me it seemed that this article was a lot of navel gazing by a millennial narcissist.
Apparently, she thinks she’s special and nobody else experiences the end of a relationship. (In spite of the fact that she writes about relationships for a living.)
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