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I was sure I wanted to marry my boyfriend of 10 years – until he ended things suddenly. A year later, I've found a strength in myself I've never known before.
Insider via Yahoo ^ | January 5, 2023 | Julia Naftulin

Posted on 01/05/2023 8:38:18 PM PST by grundle

Julia Naftulin writes Insider's dating, sex, and relationships advice column Doing It Right.Julia Naftulin

My ex and I were high school sweethearts. We dated for 10 years, moved to two cities together, and talked about marriage.

In August 2021, my ex suddenly said he had to end the relationship to be alone. He said he didn't know if he could ever get married.

A year and a half later, I've learned how to practice self-compassion, ask for help, and find gratitude after grief.

When my ex-boyfriend sat me down to break up with me in August 2021, I didn't realize it was happening. He had to sit me down again the next day to make sure I understood. He needed to move on, alone, without me.

We dated for 10 years, starting during our junior year of high school. Throughout that time, we talked about marriage and moved to two different cities together. Sure, the pandemic put a strain on our relationship, but I thought it was par for the course. I imagined we could get through anything together because I loved him, our love, and the memories we shared. I loved how our high school friendship became so much more, how we grew up together, and how he felt like the first man who really wanted to know me. For him, I learned, that wasn't enough.

For a few months, I could barely eat or go a day without crying. It felt like my world had collapsed and I was left alone to figure out what to do with the rubble.

A year and a half later, after bouts of extreme sadness, anger, and confusion, I've found closure. It's something an earlier version of myself couldn't have imagined.

(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: dating; men; mgtow; pua; redpill; suddenly; thatslife; whybuythecow; women
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He got the best 10 years of her life. He may have "talked" about marriage, but talk is meaningless. Why should he buy the cow when he was getting the milk for free?
1 posted on 01/05/2023 8:38:18 PM PST by grundle
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To: grundle

Exactly. My favorite axiom.


2 posted on 01/05/2023 8:42:51 PM PST by madison10
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To: madison10

missed her biological window. Adopt some cats.


3 posted on 01/05/2023 8:44:06 PM PST by imabadboy99
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To: grundle

I dunno if a teenager sees things quite like that, but in retrospect, that is what he got.


4 posted on 01/05/2023 8:44:33 PM PST by doorgunner69 (Let's go Brandon)
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To: imabadboy99

“missed her biological window. Adopt some cats.”

Nah, from the time lapse indicated, she is late twenties, just about becoming old enough to be interesting as a woman.

Another guy will come along, she does need to keep an eye on her weight, from the picture.


5 posted on 01/05/2023 8:49:23 PM PST by doorgunner69 (Let's go Brandon)
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To: grundle

probably around two percent of this is true


6 posted on 01/05/2023 8:50:38 PM PST by Mount Athos
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To: grundle

Or he finally grew up and found out she was just crazy. Cause when it comes right down to it...they’re all crazy...just differently on the logarithmic scale


7 posted on 01/05/2023 8:51:41 PM PST by Spaceman61
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To: grundle

Girls that wait for marriage. They find out the character of the man pretty quickly. They have a good conscience and spare themselves years of neurotic merry-go-round drama. The worldlings mock Christians and can’t figure out why themselves feel miserable and used.


8 posted on 01/05/2023 8:53:54 PM PST by MDLION ("Trust in the Lord with all your heart" -Proverbs 3:5)
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To: grundle

In other words she’s found the strength of box wine and Netflix


9 posted on 01/05/2023 8:55:01 PM PST by bigbob (z)
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To: grundle
gals, please don't be strung along....if he doesn't want to marry, he doesn't want to marry and believe me, YOU don't want to marry that kid of guy....

move on....dump his sorry arse and find someone who is serious about marriage, family....

10 posted on 01/05/2023 8:56:12 PM PST by cherry
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To: grundle

She looks like tons of fun!


11 posted on 01/05/2023 8:57:58 PM PST by grey_whiskers ( (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.))
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To: grundle

12 posted on 01/05/2023 8:58:03 PM PST by BookmanTheJanitor
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To: grundle

That is absolutely right!


13 posted on 01/05/2023 8:58:46 PM PST by caww (O death, when you seized my Lord, you lost your grip on me......Augustine)
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To: grundle
“Learned to practice self-compassion...”

Is that what they’re calling it now?

14 posted on 01/05/2023 9:01:16 PM PST by Trailerpark Badass (“There should be a whole lot more going on than throwing bleach,” said one woman)
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To: Spaceman61
Couples don't marry today...they simply hook up and live together until one or the other wants to move on.....and invariably one of them will.
15 posted on 01/05/2023 9:03:11 PM PST by caww (O death, when you seized my Lord, you lost your grip on me......Augustine)
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To: grundle

And she writes the Insider’s dating advice column? I guess her advice is “do the opposite of what I did.”


16 posted on 01/05/2023 9:04:55 PM PST by Trailerpark Badass (“There should be a whole lot more going on than throwing bleach,” said one woman)
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To: grundle

This woman was a fool, and we’re I her friend, I would have told her so, many years before TEN.


17 posted on 01/05/2023 9:05:23 PM PST by alstewartfan ("She looks like she's 19 years old, sitting there like a lady with her legs crossed." Creepy Joe)
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To: doorgunner69

We have a family member who met her boyfriend at age 14 ...now in their mid-twenties living together.....or better said playing house.


18 posted on 01/05/2023 9:06:35 PM PST by caww (O death, when you seized my Lord, you lost your grip on me......Augustine)
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To: grundle

Without Jesus at the heart of a relationship all is for naught.


19 posted on 01/05/2023 9:14:02 PM PST by Maudeen (https://ThereIsHopeinJesus.com)
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To: grundle

It wasn’t free. Theres nothing free for men when it comes to dating and courting women. Only women think its free for men.

And if she was the one who wanted to end it and he didn’t, the women here would be totally supportive of her and the guy just needs to suck it up and move on. There would be tue same total support for herno matter what, and the guy is the ahole no matter what.

Thanks for proving me right ladies.


20 posted on 01/05/2023 9:14:42 PM PST by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; not averse to Going Bronson.)
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