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McCarthy To Try New Strategy For Speaker (Satire)
1/5/23 | RetiredTexasVet

Posted on 01/05/2023 1:59:46 PM PST by RetiredTexasVet

Rep. McCarthy is planning a new strategy for his election to Speaker of the House if negotiations and 10th vote fails to elect him.

McCarthy plans to install Dominion voting machines and allow mail-in voting starting on Friday. McCarthy expects that with the new voting machines he could achieve 275 votes for speaker even without the 50 or so expected mail-in votes. Needing only 218 votes, the 275 vote would provide him with a comfortable margin of victory and frustrate the 20 or so domestic terrorists who oppose him.

Election specialists from Arizona and Dominion guarantee success. Funds for the machines and operators will be provided by McCarthy family friend Klaus Schwab.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: sarcasm; satire; scorn

1 posted on 01/05/2023 1:59:46 PM PST by RetiredTexasVet
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Send that to the Bee; they publish reader contributions.


2 posted on 01/05/2023 2:04:56 PM PST by Captain Walker (Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.-Pascal)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Arizona Governor Katy Hobbs will oversee the vote.


3 posted on 01/05/2023 2:12:07 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (FBI out of Florida!)
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To: Captain Walker

You’re right, that needs to go to the Bee. It’s funny and close enough to be misconstrued as truth at the same time, LOL!


4 posted on 01/05/2023 2:13:03 PM PST by usconservative (When The Ballot Box No Longer Counts, The Ammunition Box Does. (What's In Your Ammo Box?))
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To: RetiredTexasVet

After speaking with Schwab, McCarthy immediately phoned Pelosi and asked her to leave her ice cream freezer in the office.


5 posted on 01/05/2023 2:15:48 PM PST by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Good one. Thanks for the laugh.


6 posted on 01/05/2023 2:16:07 PM PST by Kazan
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To: RetiredTexasVet

:)


7 posted on 01/05/2023 2:24:58 PM PST by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

8 posted on 01/05/2023 2:26:03 PM PST by Yo-Yo (Is the /Sarc tag really necessary? Pray for President Biden: Psalm 109:8)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

This needs to go directly to the Bee while the voting is continuing.....too funny!!! 😉😉😉


9 posted on 01/05/2023 2:35:58 PM PST by The_Media_never_lie (Remember August 8!)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Great idea!

(McCarthy liked your idea too.   After reading it, he withdrew to his temporary office, and started practicing mailing in his own personal ballot, as shown below.)



10 posted on 01/05/2023 2:43:12 PM PST by Songcraft
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To: RetiredTexasVet

trump for speaker


11 posted on 01/05/2023 2:47:04 PM PST by ckilmer (q)
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