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Choosing a wife
email from a friend | 12/18/2022 | unknown

Posted on 12/19/2022 2:15:16 AM PST by sodpoodle

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.   The man was impressed.

  The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much..

Again, the man is impressed.

  The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

  Obviously, the man was impressed.

  The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

 And on another note! There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today    than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.  

If you don't send this to five OLD friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: options
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To: sodpoodle; Chode; SkyDancer; Salamander; Carriage Hill; Lockbox; MtnClimber; nascarnation; ...

LOL !!!

Pingy thingy.


21 posted on 12/19/2022 5:57:41 AM PST by mabarker1 ( (Congress- the opposite of PROGRESS!!! A fraud, a hypocrite, a liar. I'm a member of Congress !7)
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To: sodpoodle

You know that’s funny and a joke but has a kernel of truth to it especially for younger men.

You can buy a lot of things but it’s hard to buy a physical desirability which I guess in a way is natures method of expressing health and good genes.


22 posted on 12/19/2022 6:20:36 AM PST by Phoenix8
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To: usconservative

What?

I turned 60 18 days ago.

I want to know what happened to my 40s and 50s they just flew by.


23 posted on 12/19/2022 6:23:05 AM PST by Phoenix8
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To: usconservative

“as they say, 60 is the new 40!”

Yep. And 9:00 is the new midnight.


24 posted on 12/19/2022 6:33:06 AM PST by bk1000 (Banned from Breitbart)
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To: sodpoodle

He could have joined one of those Mormon renegade groups out west and married all three of them.


25 posted on 12/19/2022 6:45:17 AM PST by july4thfreedomfoundation (Disband and Defund the putrid FBI. America does not need an out of control Gestapo)
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To: sodpoodle

Ha ha!


26 posted on 12/19/2022 6:45:36 AM PST by stevio (Fight until you die.)
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To: Sam Clements

Big boobs are not good when a woman ages in so many ways. Not a fan........

Love my small-breasted wife....in late 70’s she doesn’t sag and still looks like a teen-ager........and she’s the most wonderful woman on the planet, smart, still beautiful, and thin.........after 8 children (she didn’t want any, I only asked her for 5.......quite a story.....)


27 posted on 12/19/2022 6:45:59 AM PST by Arlis
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To: sodpoodle

Sad, but true.


28 posted on 12/19/2022 6:46:32 AM PST by Albion Wilde ("There is no good government at all & none possible."--Mark Twain)
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To: bk1000
“as they say, 60 is the new 40!” Yep. And 9:00 is the new midnight.

LOLs!

29 posted on 12/19/2022 6:51:10 AM PST by Albion Wilde ("There is no good government at all & none possible."--Mark Twain)
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To: sodpoodle

Daddy always said marry a woman who won’t press charges.


30 posted on 12/19/2022 7:04:16 AM PST by BipolarBob (The party never stops until someone calls the cops.)
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To: ComputerGuy

Read that first one to my wife. She laughed. I’m stealing it.


31 posted on 12/19/2022 7:24:54 AM PST by Cincinnatus.45-70 (What do DemocRats enjoy more than a truckload of dead babies? Unloading them with a pitchfork!)
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To: sodpoodle
Good stuff and I totally get the humor but I don't fall into the "biggest boobs are the best" stereotype that us men are tagged with.

I much prefer women with average breasts to tell you the truth, like in the sihouette below.

Not flat chested mind you, but average sized. The really big ones, like the real ones found on Dolly Parton or the artificially inflated ones, like the ones Tiffany the hairdresser would pay for with her ex's alimony check, are just not my cup of tea.

So going back to your example of potential wives receiving $5,000 each, assuming all three women are similarly endowed per the sihouette below, I would definitely go with the woman who took my original $5,000 and tripled it through investment, returning the principal back to me, and reinvesting the rest for our future. That sounds like a very handy woman to have for a wife.

I guess I'm just different like that.

32 posted on 12/19/2022 7:37:52 AM PST by SamAdams76 (4,733,703 | Truth Social | 87,874,312 | Twitter | Trump Followers)
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To: Graybeard58

Good Lord willing I’ll hit 85 in June.


33 posted on 12/19/2022 8:19:50 AM PST by Rappini (In hoc signo vinces)
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To: Governor Dinwiddie

“Pick the one who can cook, can sew, and can garden.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Yep, my wife can cook, sew (and quilt and knit), cleans, garden, cans...

Gives her something to do while I play golf in the summer and surf on Free Republic in the winter!


34 posted on 12/19/2022 8:21:30 AM PST by Kershul (Kersh)
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To: sodpoodle

35 posted on 12/19/2022 8:26:17 AM PST by NorthMountain (... the right of the peopIe to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: Kershul

When I got married, my wife couldn’t do any of that. Her cooking was microwave corn. Since then she has taught herself how to cook, garden and lots of new skills on the computer.

I only cook, garden, electrical, plumbing, carpentry, automotive and basic first aid. My wife keeps me around because of my smoked brisket and ribs.


36 posted on 12/19/2022 8:26:45 AM PST by Texas resident (Who is running our country?)
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To: NorthMountain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZ9yqz7CNCQ
MY ANSWER!!


37 posted on 12/19/2022 8:50:29 AM PST by COSIllinois
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To: Phoenix8
I turned 60 18 days ago.

I want to know what happened to my 40s and 50s they just flew by.

Hang on! The years are only going to roll by faster.

At 75 next month, I am still wondering what happened to 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022!

I swear one day I am going to meet myself going into the management office to make my monthly rent payment.

38 posted on 12/19/2022 9:09:50 AM PST by TomGuy
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To: NorthMountain

Ah yes. He kept the one who refused to debase herself and constantly told him to his face what was wrong with him, and paid the other two to go away.


39 posted on 12/19/2022 9:45:51 AM PST by lepton ("It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into"--Jonathan Swift)
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To: ComputerGuy

I chose... poorly.

/quote from Indiana Jones


40 posted on 12/19/2022 10:16:10 AM PST by ro_dreaming (Joe Biden is the dementia riddled, no-filter grifter he's always been - just now, we get to see it.)
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