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Choosing a wife
email from a friend | 12/18/2022 | unknown

Posted on 12/19/2022 2:15:16 AM PST by sodpoodle

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.   The man was impressed.

  The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much..

Again, the man is impressed.

  The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

  Obviously, the man was impressed.

  The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then he married the one with the biggest boobs.

Men are like that, you know.

 And on another note! There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today    than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.  

If you don't send this to five OLD friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Society
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A bit naughty, but we are all old!!!
1 posted on 12/19/2022 2:15:16 AM PST by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

The only one of my relatives that I got to choose is my wife.


2 posted on 12/19/2022 2:20:15 AM PST by ComputerGuy (Heavily-medicated for your protection)
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To: sodpoodle
there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

If a man has to "think" about what to do with his equipment, he has bigger problems than Alzheimer's. That kind of thing almost always comes naturally.

"Thinking" comes in handy when you need to stop/prevent what you're about to do.;-)

3 posted on 12/19/2022 2:25:37 AM PST by RoosterRedux
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To: sodpoodle

I’ll be 79 in January. Love ya Sod....Sac


4 posted on 12/19/2022 2:30:49 AM PST by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: sodpoodle
I always reflect on a song called; "I miss Amelia" where the man is married to "the on with the boobs" and she's making him miserable.

The words include:

"You only think of luxury and wealth,

Everything you see you want,

Oh, my God, I miss Amelia,

Yes, that was a woman...

Amelia had no vanity.

Amelia was the real woman"

I always translated it as "Amelia; the righteous woman in God's eyes"

Many different versions

Fortunately, I was blessed and did it in reverse.

Yee. Haw...


5 posted on 12/19/2022 2:32:13 AM PST by Caipirabob (Communists...Socialists...Fascists & AntiFa...Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: sodpoodle

This ain’t right and that is wrong
You just keep naggin’, all the day long
Its gotta stop, I don’t mean plea-ease
Now, you’re gonna change or I’m a-gonna leave.
- Hank Williams


6 posted on 12/19/2022 2:49:15 AM PST by Libloather (Why do climate change hoax deniers live in mansions on the beach?)
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To: sodpoodle

If he went with the third one, she would have been able to afford a boob job, a makeover like the first one and buy him all the gifts that the second one did, and still be able to grow a fund for the future.

Avg cost of Breast augmentation is $4,516. but there are additional costs that make it range from $3,000 to $12,000.


7 posted on 12/19/2022 2:52:52 AM PST by DannyTN
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To: sodpoodle
Pick the one who can cook, can sew, and can garden.

8 posted on 12/19/2022 3:13:55 AM PST by Governor Dinwiddie (LORD, grant thy people grace to withstand the temptations of the world, the flesh, and the devil.)
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To: Governor Dinwiddie

“Pick the one who can cook, can sew, and can garden.”

What about the boat motor?


9 posted on 12/19/2022 3:32:29 AM PST by Freeper (My authority? I can read. )
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To: sodpoodle

They will all be different people in 10 years.


10 posted on 12/19/2022 3:37:10 AM PST by ArcadeQuarters (Remember the 2020 backstabbers. No more RINOs ever!)
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To: Governor Dinwiddie

11 posted on 12/19/2022 4:16:16 AM PST by tlozo (Better to Die on Your Feet than Live on Your Knees)
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To: sodpoodle

I married a woman with big boobs. She makes me very happy.


12 posted on 12/19/2022 4:27:57 AM PST by Sam Clements
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To: sodpoodle
A bit naughty, but we are all old!!!

Who's this "we" you're talking about? I only turned 60 three weeks ago and as they say, 60 is the new 40!

Now, if I find the SOB that said that, I'm gonna bash him over the head with my new walker!!!

13 posted on 12/19/2022 4:30:24 AM PST by usconservative (When The Ballot Box No Longer Counts, The Ammunition Box Does. (What's In Your Ammo Box?))
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To: tlozo

Let me guess, should be “dig worms”


14 posted on 12/19/2022 4:38:10 AM PST by Kenny500c ( )
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To: Freeper

Boat motor or motorboat?


15 posted on 12/19/2022 4:53:18 AM PST by larrytown (A Cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do. Then they graduate...)
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To: Kenny500c
Let me guess, should be “dig worms”

No it is correct. It is about a transgender wife who dicks worms.

LOL

16 posted on 12/19/2022 5:04:35 AM PST by Erik Latranyi (We are being manipulated by forces that most do not see)
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To: sodpoodle

Go Asain young man.


17 posted on 12/19/2022 5:06:39 AM PST by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn...)
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To: Sacajaweau

I’ll be 79 in January. Love ya Sod.

`````````````````````````````````

Not far behind you old timer, Ill be 78 in June.


18 posted on 12/19/2022 5:39:03 AM PST by Graybeard58
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To: Libloather

You just keep naggin’, all the day long
Its gotta stop, I don’t mean plea-ease
Now, you’re gonna change or I’m a-gonna leave.
- Hank Williams
`````````````````````````````````````````````````

Me and that woman gotta license to fight. Mind Your Owm Bidness.
Hank Williams


19 posted on 12/19/2022 5:46:14 AM PST by Graybeard58
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To: DannyTN

In today’s world . . .

The 3rd one would dump the guy as she doesn’t need him anymore and then she would marry the next one with biggest boobs.


20 posted on 12/19/2022 5:49:21 AM PST by Macoozie (Handcuffs and Orange Jumpsuits)
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