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Have never played golf and probably never will!!!
1 posted on 12/13/2022 2:58:11 AM PST by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

GOLF.....An egregious misuse of a perfectly good rifle range.


2 posted on 12/13/2022 3:10:16 AM PST by Chad C. Mulligan (CNN)
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To: sodpoodle
It's amazing how a golfer who never helps with house or yard work will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps

I don't see much of that going on at the public courses I play..

4 posted on 12/13/2022 3:23:13 AM PST by EVO X ( )
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To: sodpoodle

Is it any coincidence that a bottle of Scotch is 18 shots?


5 posted on 12/13/2022 3:55:09 AM PST by Right_Wing_Madman
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To: sodpoodle

Lee Trevino once counseled that “if caught in lightning, hold a 1-iron over your head”. When asked why, he replied “not even God can hit the 1-iron”.


7 posted on 12/13/2022 4:07:15 AM PST by LRoggy (Peter's Son's Business )
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To: sodpoodle
< P > with no spaces is your friend. It is a paragraph marker. Instead of a wall of text it would be readable.

So in future... if you wish to share an email, hit reply. Find and replace the "." with < P > (no spaces) and cut and paste that. It will be readable.

(In this case I would have replaced the > > marker.)

> GOLF TRIVIA:

- Golf balls are like eggs - they're white, they're sold by the dozen, > and a week later you have to buy more.

- It's amazing how a golfer who never helps with house or yard work > will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand > traps.

- Did you ever notice that it's a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to > play golf than at 10:00 to go to church?

- It takes longer to become good at golf than it does brain surgery. > On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around in a cart, drink beer > and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery.

- A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving > up the game.

- A good golf partner is one who's slightly worse than you.

- The rake is always in the other trap.

- If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your > life.

- If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a > seven, he probably shot an eight.

- Golf appeals to the child in all of us. This is proven by our > frequent inability to count past the number 5.

- It's easy to keep your ball in the fairway, if you don't care which > fairway.

- If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most > everyone would play better.

- The greatest sound in golf is the "Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh" of your > opponent's club as he hurls it across the fairway.

- A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest. > They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there's ever a > medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby.

- It's difficult to decide which is more stressful - hitting 3 off the > tee or lining up your 4th putt.

- With practice and strength training you can easily get more distance > off the shank.

- The only sure way to get a par is to leave a 4 foot birdie putt 2 > inches from the hole.

- Nothing straightens out a nasty slice like a sharp dogleg to the > right.

- Golden Rule: Never wash your ball on the tee of a water hole.

- No matter how badly you are playing, it's always possible to get > worse.

8 posted on 12/13/2022 4:09:57 AM PST by LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget
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To: sodpoodle; All

Best game ever.....very challenging.......a savior for many during COVID......which prompted a rebirth of popularity....teaches all the right stuff.

Star athletes love golf and made it cool. Best game ever.


9 posted on 12/13/2022 4:12:22 AM PST by chiller (Davey Crockett said: "Be sure you're right. Then go ahead'. I'll go ahead.)
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To: sodpoodle
Formatted.

*****

GOLF TRIVIA: 

- Golf balls are like eggs - they're white, they're sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more. 

- It's amazing how a golfer who never helps with house or yard work will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps. 

- Did you ever notice that it's a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to go to church? 

- It takes longer to become good at golf than it does brain surgery...on the other hand, you seldom get to ride around in a cart, drink beer and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery. 

- A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game. 

- A good golf partner is one who's slightly worse than you. 

- The rake is always in the other trap. 

- If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life. 

- If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight. 

- Golf appeals to the child in all of us. This is proven by our frequent inability to count past the number 5. 

- It's easy to keep your ball in the fairway, if you don't care which fairway. 

- If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better. 

- The greatest sound in golf is the "Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh" of your opponent's club as he hurls it across the fairway. 

- A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest; they get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there's ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby. 

- It's difficult to decide which is more stressful - hitting 3 off the tee or lining up your 4th putt. 

- With practice and strength training you can easily get more distance off the shank. 

- The only sure way to get a par is to leave a 4 foot birdie putt 2 inches from the hole. 

- Nothing straightens out a nasty slice like a sharp dogleg to the right. 

- Golden Rule: Never wash your ball on the tee of a water hole. 

- No matter how badly you are playing, it's always possible to get worse.


10 posted on 12/13/2022 4:20:14 AM PST by Bratch
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To: sodpoodle

Funny and how true. Greatest game ever invented.


14 posted on 12/13/2022 5:44:31 AM PST by bray (The Republic of Texas is available on Barnes and Noble and Audible)
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To: sodpoodle

Golf is for folks who do not grasp the fact that the out of doors is far larger than the confines of 18 holes


15 posted on 12/13/2022 5:46:37 AM PST by bert ( (KWE. NP. N.C. +12) Juneteenth is inequality day)
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To: sodpoodle

Two biggest wastes of real estate: golf courses and cemeteries (Caddyshack). If you’ve never seen it before, watch the Beverly Hillbillies where Jed and Jethro go to shoot some golf. It’s on TouTube.


16 posted on 12/13/2022 5:59:41 AM PST by Old Yeller
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To: sodpoodle

When will the LIV players and the PGA players start getting along?


20 posted on 12/13/2022 6:22:31 AM PST by 1Old Pro
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To: sodpoodle

Poor Sod.

If you’re not telling a dirty offensive joke that gets pulled by the moderator then you’re posting yet another unformatted thread.


25 posted on 12/13/2022 8:05:13 AM PST by Responsibility2nd (Fake News. Might be true; but it’s designed to distort, mislead, brainwash and BS sheeple. )
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To: sodpoodle

Those are down right amusing….and true


27 posted on 12/13/2022 8:14:06 AM PST by Nifster (OI see puppy dogs in the clouds )
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