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Pfizer Announces a 400% Price Increase for the COVID-19 Shots (Satire)
10/21/22 | RetiredTexasVet

Posted on 10/21/2022 2:47:16 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet

Pfizer announced today a 400% increase in the price of the COVID-19 shots due to inflation and the increase in production, marketing and approval expenses.

Pfizer has become increasingly concerned over the lagging COVID-19 shot sales. Although the CDC has issued an edict requiring the shot be added to the childhood vaccine schedule, there is expected to be much resistance from parents and red states. Pfizer is considering an end run around the states by buying enough Congress critters to pass Federal legislation to mandate shots through federal level laws. This will cost billions in campaign contributions but will more than payoff if the laws are enacted. This may be accomplished through a Lame Duck Congress if the company can move quickly enough.

Another step to be taken to reduce expenses is to reduce the number of bribes (by way of payoffs, grants, free college to children, jobs, etc.) to the FDA Drug Advisory Committee and the CDC Drug Advisory Committee from 15 to 8 for each committee. Because approval from each committee requires only 8 votes, billions of dollars can be saved per approval by buying 8 votes instead of all 15.

Another step to be taken to increase the children shot sales is to increase children's programming. A children's program with a Muppet character named Moloch could be featured taking the shot and as a result receiving super powers. The children could then be induced to pester their parents to ensure that the children got their shot and super powers.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Health/Medicine; Humor
KEYWORDS: sarcasm; satire; scorn

1 posted on 10/21/2022 2:47:16 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet
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To: RetiredTexasVet

seems familiar

kind of like a heroin dealer

the first taste is free

then customers for life


2 posted on 10/21/2022 2:51:34 PM PDT by joshua c (to disrupt the system, we must disrupt our lives, cut the cable tv)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

We’re not worthy. LOL


3 posted on 10/21/2022 2:52:37 PM PDT by one guy in new jersey
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Seems fair.


4 posted on 10/21/2022 2:57:11 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Now that the demand is up and everybody wants more boosters.


5 posted on 10/21/2022 2:57:30 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: RetiredTexasVet

The virtue signalaes, who still where masks, will be lining up with cash in hand.


6 posted on 10/21/2022 2:59:54 PM PDT by DallasBiff (Kamala is not the sharpest knife in the drawer)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

If one cent of tax money was used to develop this then the govt should put a stop to it.


7 posted on 10/21/2022 3:22:49 PM PDT by Warriorposter
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To: nickcarraway
Now that the demand is up and everybody wants more boosters.

On what plant is that happening?
You are still in cloud cuckoooland?

8 posted on 10/21/2022 4:55:40 PM PDT by SmokingJoe ( )
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