Posted on 09/26/2022 8:26:29 AM PDT by RoosterRedux
In an ingenious move commonly used by pet owners, White House staff members have announced that they will be fitting Joe Biden with a custom-made jingle bell collar that will make it easier for them to locate the wayward President when he wanders off aimlessly.
"I did the same thing with my dog Ringworm when he would just disappear sometimes," said Rebecca Gaffney, a special aide to the President who previously worked as a special needs nanny. "With how frequently the President absent-mindedly wanders away through the White House halls, having a way to find him quickly will make things easier for all of us."
Members of the President's elite Secret Service detail have been frustrated since Biden took office and have tried various methods of restraint and containment to no avail. "We used baby gates at the beginning, but he still managed to step over them despite his lack of physical coordination," said Chris Wilson, the Secret Service agent tasked with keeping tabs on the President. "After that, we tried using a leash, but we had to take it off for photo ops and press conferences and he would find a way to roam off every time."
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
I’d prefer it was a shock collar...
A shock collar is too much like a hit of good cocaine. WH Staff is afraid Hunter might take it.
I don’t think he moves enough for a bell to be reliable. How are you going to find him when he nods off?
A GPS collar or and Apple Airtag would be much better.
I was gonna say get an electronic fence lol
Love the BEE....Bet they’re making him wear a wire.
and so children can run when they hear them...
Crackhead Hunter Biden didn’t give a fig when he abandoned his small children, from wife one, to cavort with prostitutes, buy hookers expensive presents, string out on drugs.....leaving his family penniless.
He’s carried on this lifestyle for years.
Now his firstborn is to wed.........so where is Hunter getting the money for her wedding?
From you.......the taxpayers....... for a lavish WH wedding for all the Bidung parasites.When Hunters first wife hustled a book,she was curiously reticent.
Now we know why......she was warned there’d be no WH wedding ...if she squealed.
Some costs associated with the WH wedding ceremony — like security — will be picked up by taxpayers, but the Biden family “say” they’ll pay the tab for wedding activities.
The wedding comes at a time when Hunter the bride’s father has been marred with controversy concerning his foreign business deals and tax problem’s.......and child support for the child of the stripper he impregnated.
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Our midterm strategy should concentrate on how “perfect” Biden is.
As ms. Behavioral cogently observed......Biden doesn’t
even have a hemorrhoid.....he’s such a perfect a****le.
Biden never misses a chance to flaunt how perfect he is.
“I’m not going to make a judgment for other people,” he said recently, sounding more perfect than ever, when asked how he is able to reconcile his Catholic faith with his public support of abortion.
It must be a burden on perfect Biden to have created such perfection to be hounded by people who don’t appreciate his perfectness......sob.
His Soul of the Nation speech revealed Biden’s intense dislike for Americans.......
and his displeasure at having created a “perfect government” for such horrible people.
Biden became unhinged and made one startling declaration after another.
He reviled Americans who disagree with him about how he has “perfectly” ensured the integrity of the American electoral process.
To somebody as “perfect” as Biden, dealing with us modern-day noose-carrying Confederates, us vote-suppressing racist traitors, is such a burden when you’re THAT perfect.
We deplorables can never hope to achieve the perfection Biden......and the Democrats have achieved...... under his perfect tutelage.
All he needs now is a leash...
A bell? Don’t forget to give him a can of bear spray and set him lose in the forest.
Priceless! LMAO!!
I’d prefer it was a shock collar...
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Yeah, that in conjunction with some of that “invisible fencing”. Of course that still won’t stop him from sniffing small children. Dogs love sniffing stuff.
How about a GPS ankle bracelet? No noise, and works through walls &c.
They sewed a tile in to his pants.
I’d say just track his cellphone but he’d probably drop it in a urinal somewhere.
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