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Paul Pelosi Pleads Guilty, Sentenced To Return To Nancy Pelosi In 5 Days
The Babylon Bee ^ | August 23, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 08/24/2022 1:52:02 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Insider trading expert and husband of the Speaker of the House Paul Pelosi has pleaded guilty to a DUI charge and has been sentenced to live with Nancy Pelosi again after 5 days in prison.

"You recklessly put innocent lives in danger, and I have no choice but to make an example of you," said the judge at the sentencing. "In five days' time, you will fly out to Washington, D.C., and move in with your wife Nancy. May God have mercy on your soul."

Paul Pelosi will be forced to wear an ankle monitor which will prevent him from leaving the premises. At publishing time, his legal team was appealing the sentence.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Health/Medicine; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; nancypelosi; paulpelosi; satire; sentencing

1 posted on 08/24/2022 1:52:02 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

perfect


2 posted on 08/24/2022 1:53:16 PM PDT by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Must be fun to work at Babylon Bee. Hilarious.


3 posted on 08/24/2022 1:53:28 PM PDT by montag813
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Cruel and unusual punishment.


4 posted on 08/24/2022 1:53:30 PM PDT by SpaceBar
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I love the Bee.


5 posted on 08/24/2022 1:53:43 PM PDT by CaptainK ("If life's really hard, at least its short")
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I actually feel sad for the poor man.


6 posted on 08/24/2022 1:54:33 PM PDT by EvilCapitalist (81 million votes my ass.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

That is a harsh penalty.

They should put ankle chains on them both to ensure that he completes his sentence.


7 posted on 08/24/2022 1:57:36 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I think Jesse Watters needs to acquire the complete crash report and accident reconstruction report from the cops.

If the passenger-side airbag was deployed, that can only happen if there is a passenger in the seat. If the bag did not deploy = no passenger.

I thought I heard a witness say the airbag on the passenger side was indeed deployed.

How many people were injured - regardless if they were seen by EMS or not. What about the FIRE/EMS reports? How many victims? How many transported? Were any "treated and released" on scene.

Inquiring minds want to know....

8 posted on 08/24/2022 2:02:28 PM PDT by SERKIT ("Blazing Saddles" explains it all.......)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

oooff...


9 posted on 08/24/2022 2:08:32 PM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

No wonder he drinks can’t blame him.


10 posted on 08/24/2022 3:25:58 PM PDT by Vaduz ( )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

From what was reported, Paul Pelosi already spent 2 days in jail and won’t have to serve the other 3 days. But he will have to pay $150.


11 posted on 08/24/2022 4:01:46 PM PDT by Verginius Rufus
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To: Verginius Rufus

Not to worry, Biden will forgive the $150. He has the authority. Apparently.


12 posted on 08/24/2022 4:17:45 PM PDT by Auntie Dem (Hey! Hey! Ho! Ho! Terrorist lovers gotta go!)
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