9 Horrible Things Brought About By Toxic Masculinity

The Babylon Bee ^ | August 8, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Toxic masculinity has been under fire since third-wave feminism in the ‘90s, and for good reason – men have brought nothing but wickedness and dirty laundry into the world from the beginning. Want examples? Here are 9 horrible things brought to you by toxic masculinity:

• The wheel: It was just an excuse to frame women for running over curbs!
• Running water: Seems like a technological advance, but it's just another male ploy to keep women in the kitchen where they belong. Disgusting!
• Sports: NASCAR, WWE, MMA – the oppression runs so deep that even most women's sports are run by men.
• Law and order: The actual institution, and probably the show too.
• Open jars: This may sound positive, but men erase all the goodwill from their service by always eating the last peach.
• "Eh, the spoon's probably clean enough": Men tout this as an "advancement for efficiency." Disgusting again!
• Most science: Science? Who needs it? We have Dr. Fauci!
• People: Men are involved in the procreation of humans. Humans are the worst. Thanks a lot, men.
• Feminism: If only loving, servant-hearted leadership were more common, this blight on our society may not exist.

Now go and boycott anything invented or maintained by men – smash the patriarchy!

[gundog]

10. Speedos.

[calljack]

Well.... your correct on that one.

[millenial4freedom]

this toxic masculinity?

[Still Thinking]

My mind eye says "Thanks".

[Grampa Dave]

I would add opening jars/package for meals or snacking.

A couple of times a week, my wife wants me to open a jar or a package so secure nuclear weapons could be sealed in them.

When I do that I get “dibs” on whatever was in the jar or the secure package. Yesterday, I opened a jar with artichoke hearts, and a couple slices were tasted by me re quality and taste!

[Still Thinking]

Cars. Wheat. Cellphones.

[qaz123]

Well.... your correct on that one

Sadly he/she is

[BBQToadRibs2]

[bobbo666]

And, if the relationship is a bit on the rocks (e.g., she argued and argued until you just gave up) you can reverse that. Go thru the pantry/fridge for jars and tighten them down so NO ONE can open them — even the ones she knows you already opened for her.
If she asks, “You must be getting old and losing muscle tone”.
Can you still out run her?

[Steve_Seattle]

The crowd at my local bar is mostly older people or younger working-class people. The jukebox is popular, and people play everything from the big band era, to 50s pop and rock, to 60s pop and rock, to country, to more recent pop, to jazz, to heavy metal, to R&B, and blues. A wise guy will even toss in a rap song every once in a while just to get a rise out of people.

One thing I've noticed is that the pop music of the 50s - pre-feminist, pre-leftist - is typically much more sensitive and respectful of women than what followed as the left took over the music scene. There is little to none of the crude sexualization of women and the misogyny that is so often found in today's rap, hip-hop- and pop - the music of the so-called enlightened generation.

[Sergio]

I used to think that indoor bathrooms were created by men for women as men are perfectly happy using the bathroom outside.

But then I thought, “the toilet is one of the few places a man can sit and not be interrupted”, and realized that men invented that for themselves.

[Chode]

100%

[Billthedrill]

Man, that’s brutal.

[Allegra]

I’ll take “toxic masculinity” over limp-twisted, man-bunned beta males any day.

The latter are more vicious and catty than their gossipy, busybody female counterparts.

[Allegra]

Eeeeewwwwww….🤢🤮

My eyes! 🫣

[EvilCapitalist]

Running Water: Seems like a technological advance, but it’s just another male ploy to keep women barefoot, and pregnant in the kitchen where they belong. Disgusting! Fixed it.

[Grampa Dave]

Can you still out run her?

For a few more months.

She had a hip replacement the first week in March. She still uses a high end walker outside our home.

According to my DNA, I have the quick twitch/run gene that saved my ancestors. They ran just fast enough to outrun the others, aka slower moving bait.

[Nea Wood]

Now that I think about it, you’re right.

[ansel12]

Running water gives them something to do and keeps them smelling nice.