We Asked 1,000 Christian Women What They Want In A Spouse - Here Are The Top Responses

The Babylon Bee ^ | June 30, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Are you a single loser? Are you also a man? Love scientists with The Babylon Bee talked with 1000 actual real-live women and uncovered ten things Christian women are looking for in a man. Only you have the power to mold yourself into the ultimate man and win her heart.

Consider embodying one of these amazing qualities:

1. Boaz: If you are Boaz then you can stop reading this list right now. MMM, Boaz...
2. A man with the body of Henry Cavil and the brains of C.S. Lewis: This is the whole package!
3. A believer in the patriarchy who will provide for her and free her from the shackles of corporate America: Also see, Boaz.
4. A guy who doesn't want to have sex with you and then murder the child: This is a pretty important one.
5. A godly man who loves kids and puppies and is over 6' tall and muscular and really tan with fertile seed: This is the kind of man who will give her the freedom to be in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant like she's always wanted.
6. A guy with a completed AWANA vest: The only way to know he's truly godly. Boaz had one of these.
7. A dude who never complains about casseroles: Bonus points for loving burnt meatloaf.
8. A man who will wake her up at 4 a.m. to read the King James Bible to her: NIV readers need not apply.
9. Somebody who can open pickle jars and reach things on high shelves: Better get jacked, nerds!
10. A guy who can fold a fitted sheet: Dreamy! Just like MyPillow Giza Dream Sheets.

[CivilWarBrewing]

"He's a fireman" she exclaimed!

That shuts ALL of the questioning down, lol.

[TribalPrincess2U]

In a nut shell! Marry a man with older sisters!

[nicollo]

Boaz left the toilet seat up.

Fail.

[KevinB]

When a woman tells female friends that she met a guy, they ask: 1.”Is he hot?” 2. “What does he do?” The second question is a way of asking about money.

When a man tells male friends that he met a woman, they ask:

1.”Is she hot?”

The first question is a way of asking about whether she is hot. :-)

[Disambiguator]

Fitted sheets?

Youtube to the rescue!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sHw1LDZ9oeg

[DoodleBob]

[FamiliarFace]

*** My husband had a very strong, positive father, and they were close pals; so I don’t think it was that hard for him.***

My husband and his Dad were very close, too. Very. I guess being the only boy creates that kind of bond. My father-in-law was a great and kind man. He was a wonderful example of a loving husband and father, as was his father before him.

***But growing up in a house so full of females certainly causes a young man to understand a lot about women.***

That’s exactly what I’m talking about. They have insights that have undoubtedly helped them.

[FamiliarFace]

I take it you have too.

When I was a teenager and starting to think about boys, my mama told me I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I found my handsome prince, and she was right. I looked around plenty, and was able to be rather choosy. I chose well.

[Nifster]

How in heck do you burn meat loaf???

[heavy metal]

player strategy...

[Jonty30]

See?
It takes two people.

[KevinB]

...and was able to be rather choosy.

That tells me you are attractive. Plain girls don't have that luxury.

[Gen.Blather]

A couple of points here. Firstly, those are women. The fold-stuff-neatly gene is attached to the X chromosome. Men have the kill-something-and-drag-it-home-for-dinner gene, which is on the Y. Secondly, computer enhanced graphics. If Hollywood can make spaceships go pew pew pew, then folding a sheet is child’s play.

[SaveFerris]

I bought a fitted sheet when I really wanted a flat sheet

Oops

That was years ago....lol 😆

[mdmathis6]

Awana is a Bible teaching program for children...generally from kindergarten throug 9th grade sponsored by Awana International that many Baptist and evangelical churchs are a a part of. You have vests and can earn patches. Many churches have Awana meetings on Wednsday nights. Think also Royal Ambassodors for Chrisy as being a similar style program. The highlights of the Awana year are the Awana Olympics that are held regionally between different church groups then staewide and I think there are even nationals but most regional groups don’t participate that far. One has a vest and one can earn patches for the vest much like Boy scouts earn patches for their chest banners and uniforms.

Another highlight is a church’s annual Awana mini balsa wood
car derby. (held in the churches only). Dad’s help their sons and daughters make balsa wood minicars(6 inches long) from specified kits and to specified weights and they do gravity racing down a track. It gets quite involved sometimes.

[DoodleBob]

Third, this is winning the battle and losing the war. Mrs DoodleBob would clock me if I folded the fitted sheet this way. It may look neat, but no one would be able to differentiate from the unfitted sheets. Western Civ would collapse faster.

[BDParrish]

Correction! It is “Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed”. I was in it in 1973-73. The motto is taken from 2 Timothy 2:15.

[FamiliarFace]

I’m no beauty queen, that’s for sure. Probably closer to being the girl next door type. I have been called plain Jane plenty of times, and sometimes you have to ignore people who judge just on looks.

[SisterK]

2. “What does he do?”
The second question is a way of asking about money.

I own my property and am low maintenance. But "what does he do" is important to me because I am much more compatible with mechanical or blue collar men than with college educated. Probably because the men I grew up around could build and repair stuff.

[KevinB]

Probably closer to being the girl next door type.

That's what a very high percentage of guys are looking for: Mary Ann not Ginger. :-)