Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

REDNECKs
email from a friend | 5/13/2022 | unknown

Posted on 05/13/2022 11:42:56 AM PDT by sodpoodle

You're An EXTREME Redneck When...

1) You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids

2) The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3) You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4) You think a woman who is out of your league, bowls on a different night.

5) You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6) Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'

7) You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8) Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9) Your junior prom offered day care.

10) You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'

11) You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12) The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13) You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14) One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15) You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16) You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17) You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

And in closing....

Two good ol' boys in an Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.

After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: humor; mean; racism; racist; rednecks; splc
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 81-100101-120121-140141-154 last
To: real saxophonist

...a grandmom at 32...
_______________________
Friend of ours, who is 58, just became a great-grandfather. His 18-year-old granddaughter is pregnant and living with her 28-year-old aunt. He’s on his 3rd marriage, lives in the Great North Woods and his family has been there for generations. Mostly Scots-Irish, migrated there to do logging.


141 posted on 05/13/2022 9:44:37 PM PDT by reformedliberal (Make yourself less available.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 95 | View Replies]

To: plain talk

... that’s a shame....
____________________

Why?


142 posted on 05/13/2022 9:45:51 PM PDT by reformedliberal (Make yourself less available.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 97 | View Replies]

To: Celerity

From Tahlequah...


143 posted on 05/13/2022 9:46:46 PM PDT by Vendome (I've Gotta Be Me https://youtu.be/wH-pk2vZG2M)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 105 | View Replies]

To: MayflowerMadam

Jeff Foxworthy got rich this way.
____________________________

And he played to redneck audiences.


144 posted on 05/13/2022 9:54:54 PM PDT by reformedliberal (Make yourself less available.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 127 | View Replies]

To: higgmeister

...origins of the term....
_______________________

When you work the fields or construction, you get sunburned/tanned on the back of your neck.

We also call it a farmer’s tan. Take off the shirt and everything else is the color of milk.


145 posted on 05/13/2022 9:57:20 PM PDT by reformedliberal (Make yourself less available.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 116 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

One of the things that continually happens in the ‘comedy entertainment’ world is this open ridicule of another regional lifestyle/culture. It’s perfectly okay to stand up in, say NYC, and blast it out to the supposedly-sophisticated urban audience. It’s de rigueur. It’s funny, right? Try the same jokes about New Yorkers while standing up on stage in NYC. Try making similar jokes about the ghetto/barrio.......

To me, it’s one thing to laugh at yourselves as a culture; it’s another thing to be laughed at and stereotyped by peoples who don’t realize they live in glass houses of their own.


146 posted on 05/13/2022 10:07:26 PM PDT by Gaffer
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: reformedliberal
My report was based on my recollection of the arrest report and charge sheet from the criminal court file. I still have copies of the paperwork in a box of old files.

I also have a tape of a wife's 911 call about her county commissioner husband hitting her. And I know of an incident when one of his colleagues popped his wife and the cops were called. Although known to and unreported by the local news media, the incidents led to those officials deciding not to run again.

I also know of an incident when a GOP state governor got drunk and woke up an apartment complex demanding that a particularly attractive appointee of his open the door and let him in for sex. And a time when a married circuit judge was caught en flagrante in his van with a court reporter.

The bottom line: even if the examples are restricted to unreported episodes I know about involving public officials, redneck behavior is fairly common.

147 posted on 05/13/2022 11:31:24 PM PDT by Rockingham
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 135 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle
13) You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14) One of your kids was born on a pool table.

We sort of qualify for 13 because we have an extra fridge outside on the patio.

As for #14, if your kid was born on a pool table, you get extra admiration if that same kid was conceived on that SAME pool table!

148 posted on 05/14/2022 3:39:55 AM PDT by Enterprise
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: consult
it distinguishes us from others.....we can laugh at our tribe..we're not so fragile like some others I can think of.....

add to that that we all probably experienced one or two on that list..

149 posted on 05/14/2022 3:45:25 AM PDT by cherry (;)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: reformedliberal

We’re not rednecks and we loved him.


150 posted on 05/14/2022 3:51:27 AM PDT by MayflowerMadam (When government fears the people, there is liberty.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 144 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

How odd I see the same people in east Los Angeles the others are gang members.


151 posted on 05/14/2022 9:31:54 AM PDT by Vaduz ( )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: reformedliberal
Yep, I always heard that it described the farmers on Sand Mountain in Alabama.   I saw a huge Indian Motorcycle in front off a small country store on Sand Mountain when my family was visiting relatives there.   I was very young in the 1950's.
152 posted on 05/14/2022 10:44:14 AM PDT by higgmeister ( In the Shadow of The Big Chicken)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 145 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

Swing and a miss. While we are at it can you keep all the liberal fags from moving down south?

Rednecks are not stupid. Nothing on this list is close to reality. You need better friends that don’t spam your inbox. You need better manners than to post your spam on here.


153 posted on 05/14/2022 11:34:53 AM PDT by wgmalabama (We will find out if the Vac or virus risk was the correct choice -can put the truth above narrative )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

Redneck jokes never get old. Not to long ago, we all laughed at posts like this!


154 posted on 05/20/2022 5:15:36 PM PDT by Widget Jr
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 81-100101-120121-140141-154 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson