Posted on 05/13/2022 11:42:56 AM PDT by sodpoodle
You're An EXTREME Redneck When...
1) You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids
2) The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3) You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4) You think a woman who is out of your league, bowls on a different night.
5) You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6) Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'
7) You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8) Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9) Your junior prom offered day care.
10) You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'
11) You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12) The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13) You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14) One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15) You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16) You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17) You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
And in closing....
Two good ol' boys in an Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!
...a grandmom at 32...
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Friend of ours, who is 58, just became a great-grandfather. His 18-year-old granddaughter is pregnant and living with her 28-year-old aunt. He’s on his 3rd marriage, lives in the Great North Woods and his family has been there for generations. Mostly Scots-Irish, migrated there to do logging.
... that’s a shame....
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Why?
From Tahlequah...
Jeff Foxworthy got rich this way.
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And he played to redneck audiences.
...origins of the term....
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When you work the fields or construction, you get sunburned/tanned on the back of your neck.
We also call it a farmer’s tan. Take off the shirt and everything else is the color of milk.
One of the things that continually happens in the ‘comedy entertainment’ world is this open ridicule of another regional lifestyle/culture. It’s perfectly okay to stand up in, say NYC, and blast it out to the supposedly-sophisticated urban audience. It’s de rigueur. It’s funny, right? Try the same jokes about New Yorkers while standing up on stage in NYC. Try making similar jokes about the ghetto/barrio.......
To me, it’s one thing to laugh at yourselves as a culture; it’s another thing to be laughed at and stereotyped by peoples who don’t realize they live in glass houses of their own.
I also have a tape of a wife's 911 call about her county commissioner husband hitting her. And I know of an incident when one of his colleagues popped his wife and the cops were called. Although known to and unreported by the local news media, the incidents led to those officials deciding not to run again.
I also know of an incident when a GOP state governor got drunk and woke up an apartment complex demanding that a particularly attractive appointee of his open the door and let him in for sex. And a time when a married circuit judge was caught en flagrante in his van with a court reporter.
The bottom line: even if the examples are restricted to unreported episodes I know about involving public officials, redneck behavior is fairly common.
We sort of qualify for 13 because we have an extra fridge outside on the patio.
As for #14, if your kid was born on a pool table, you get extra admiration if that same kid was conceived on that SAME pool table!
add to that that we all probably experienced one or two on that list..
We’re not rednecks and we loved him.
How odd I see the same people in east Los Angeles the others are gang members.
Swing and a miss. While we are at it can you keep all the liberal fags from moving down south?
Rednecks are not stupid. Nothing on this list is close to reality. You need better friends that don’t spam your inbox. You need better manners than to post your spam on here.
Redneck jokes never get old. Not to long ago, we all laughed at posts like this!
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