As you get older you slough off friends. You keep the good ones, or at least the ones you are compatible with. My wife and I need almost no friends. We have family.
The younger you are, the more friends you usually need. And double or triple it if you’re single.
If you have two people at your funeral who don’t look at their watches, you did pretty good.................
At the end of the day...it’s not the number of friends you have...it’s the quality that counts.
Two.
Outside of family members I have one very close friend, four friends and probably a dozen people that I enjoy spending time with but would never share my secrets or troubles with.
It is all in how you define "friend".
As we go through life, the people in our lives change.
High school friends may move away for college and never come back to our hometown. We may move away from our hometowns and never return.
As adults, we can meet friends at work or as part of some recreational activities. But there too, things change, as people move away, people get married and don’t have time to hang out, people have children and don’t have time to hang out. YOU get married and have children and don’t have time to stay in touch and get together.
Maybe someone was passionate about certain subjects such as art, and had friends in the art world, but if your interest fades, those friends who shared your interest will fade out of your life as well.
There are also issues of how close these friends are. If you have become friends with someone in a recreational activity, does that person become a true friend whom you can share everything about your life with, or is that more of an acquaintance? How deep the friendships are is part of this as well.
Had one,
Ran off with
My Wife.
EX WIFE!
I’m good with one best friend. My husband.
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24
People are lucky if they find one true friend their entire lives.
How many friends have I really got?
You can count ‘em on one hand
How many friends have I really got?
How many friends have I really got?
That love me, that want me, that’ll take me as I am?
-The Who
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=as5LM7kHXGE
“To a tired introvert like me, the effort that requires just sounds exhausting”
It’s not effort if you’re friends.
My Wife of 34 years is also my best Friend.
Other Friends are from Church, Guys I play Guitar with, Family and my 4 Sons.
I can’t imagine ‘aiming’ for a certain number of friends.
Real friendship happens - or it doesn’t.
A plug here for C.S. Lewis “The Four Loves”
Not an easy read, but dividend rich.
At the end of your life, you will count true friends on the fingers of your hands.
Jokingly tell my wife all the time that I am so independent that I am like one of those ‘Life Below Zero’ peeps, the only ‘friend’ I need is the fresh air I breath.
There are friends and there are acquaintances. A true friend is someone I would hop on a plane to help when they are in need. I have a few like that, like family without the shared genetics.
At the end of the day...it’s not the number of friends you have...it’s the quality that counts.
There have been some good an interesting contributions to this thread, some in the same post. I will monitor it for content and share my thoughts on the subject in the FWIW column.
How many?
ZERO if they are not good, loyal, trustworthy, reliable, decent, moral, ethical, hard working, independent, men of good character and God fearing.
Good friends don’t ask others to fill their needs but will offer to help you in need if they can. They are the men you talk to about your life because you trust them and their judgement and because they will listen carefully. They are an honest and valuable sounding board and will always tell you the truth and you will accept it for being helpful because they have never willingly hurt you. They will share your work and your laughter as well as celebrate your victories and be proud for you. When bad things happen they say I am sorry for your loss, I can share your pain but not bear your burden. A good friend will come all the way across the country for your Momma’s funeral without being asked and stand-by in case there is something he can help you with. He knows he is subordinate to family but still wants to be standing by. Things like that are what my very few friends are made of. They may not know each other but when they meet they click, they are similar and value similar things. No more than five probably can ever be like that.
Some have said that if you use the fingers of more than one hand to count your friends you need to count again because some aren’t. I don’t expect my remaining friends to be at my funeral save for one because I have asked him to preach it. I figure the rest living will be there though and I at theirs to pay my respects.
If you want to keep good friends you have to be their equal or better in that regard.
I have never known the brotherhood of combat but have been in some tough spots. Most of my few friends were with me in those hard places.
My few friends are older, like me, I have already lost two of that small number. I doubt very much they will be replaced as I am trying to focus on being a good mentor in my latter years. I have sadly learned that not all family are friends, even close family, though my best friend ever was my Dad with whom I could work for hours without talking and we both pretty well knew what the other was thinking. He is long gone now but still sorely missed. There was also my mentor who is gone now as well.
After friends are proteges who may be a bigger responsibility than friends, acquaintances, then dangerous people and enemies.
My best friends and I part saying, “Holler if you need me.” and mean it because we both know the difference between want and need or one of life’s many troubles and a real emergency.
I can’t mention friends without God. He is the one friend I know I can turn to in my darkest hours and He is all I really have and all I should really need.