Posted on 05/07/2022 1:48:42 PM PDT by simpson96
An ongoing argument my husband and I have — which has become more contentious during the pandemic — is about how many friends we should have.
We both have one or two close friends and siblings we like to spend time with. Plus, we are busy parenting two young boys who sap most of our energy. As a textbook introvert, this feels like plenty of friends to me. Excessive, even. But my husband is an extrovert who comes alive around other people. As we slowly emerge from the pandemic, I can feel him yearning for more.
He’s not alone. For years, friendship in America has been in decline, a trend that accelerated during the pandemic. Three decades ago, 3 percent of Americans told Gallup pollsters they had no close friends; in 2021, an online poll put it at 12 percent. About a year into the pandemic, 13 percent of women and 8 percent of men age 30 to 49 said they’d lost touch with most of their friends.
(snip)
While she and other friendship researchers admit there aren’t many studies that have specifically tackled the question of how many friends people should aim for, those that have been done offer a range — and somewhere between three and six close friends may be the sweet spot.
(snip)
The amount of time you actually spend with your friends matters, too. Dr. Hall’s research suggests that on average, very close friendships tend to take around 200 hours to develop. Quantity and quality go hand-in-hand.
To a tired introvert like me, the effort that requires just sounds exhausting.
(Excerpt) Read more at dnyuz.com ...
As you get older you slough off friends. You keep the good ones, or at least the ones you are compatible with. My wife and I need almost no friends. We have family.
The younger you are, the more friends you usually need. And double or triple it if you’re single.
If you have two people at your funeral who don’t look at their watches, you did pretty good.................
Men don’t have friends. Just drinking buddies.
At the end of the day...it’s not the number of friends you have...it’s the quality that counts.
Two.
Outside of family members I have one very close friend, four friends and probably a dozen people that I enjoy spending time with but would never share my secrets or troubles with.
It is all in how you define "friend".
It is not merely a matter of “sloughing off” friends as you get older. They keep dying on you....
Guess I have to start finding younger friends.
As we go through life, the people in our lives change.
High school friends may move away for college and never come back to our hometown. We may move away from our hometowns and never return.
As adults, we can meet friends at work or as part of some recreational activities. But there too, things change, as people move away, people get married and don’t have time to hang out, people have children and don’t have time to hang out. YOU get married and have children and don’t have time to stay in touch and get together.
Maybe someone was passionate about certain subjects such as art, and had friends in the art world, but if your interest fades, those friends who shared your interest will fade out of your life as well.
There are also issues of how close these friends are. If you have become friends with someone in a recreational activity, does that person become a true friend whom you can share everything about your life with, or is that more of an acquaintance? How deep the friendships are is part of this as well.
Had one,
Ran off with
My Wife.
EX WIFE!
I’m good with one best friend. My husband.
I've never really felt the need to have many friends, or been a big socializer. I can count the number of long-time close friends on one hand, and we keep in touch via phone...rarely see each other these days. I retired in 2003, and like my privacy and my solitude. I have two sons that I am close to, and my brother's family that I visit, and who come visit me. My parents and siblings are all gone. After family, whatever other socializing I do is here on FR, and at my doctor appointments.
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24
People are lucky if they find one true friend their entire lives.
How many friends have I really got?
You can count ‘em on one hand
How many friends have I really got?
How many friends have I really got?
That love me, that want me, that’ll take me as I am?
-The Who
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=as5LM7kHXGE
How sweet
“If you have two people at your funeral who don’t look at their watches, you did pretty good.................”
That’s why I’m hiring professional mourners for my funeral.
“To a tired introvert like me, the effort that requires just sounds exhausting”
It’s not effort if you’re friends.
“If you have two people at your funeral who don’t look at their watches, you did pretty good.................”
A comma makes this a very different sentence.
If you have two people at your funeral, who don’t look at their watches, you did pretty good.................
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