Posted on 04/27/2022 11:15:08 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
WORLD—According to sources, an eccentric immigrant entrepreneur from South Africa just accomplished more for free speech than Republicans have in decades of controlling the government, wielding Federal power, and spending trillions of dollars.
"Wow! Who is this guy? He's really making us look bad here," said one Republican Senator. "This Twitter deal is such a huge step forward for freedom of expression! Wow! Imagine if other conservative wealthy people did stuff like that instead of funding our reelection campaigns? Um, wait—I didn't mean that. Scratch that. Are you recording this?"
Experts concur that Twitter being purchased by a private entity instead of publicly owned by shadowy corporate interests and foreign governments will help secure Twitter's place as a free speech platform. Other changes, such as an open-source algorithm, clear and fairly enforced rules, and a commitment to the free exchange of ideas are expected to accomplish more for freedom and human advancement than anything Republican congressmen have ever done in their entire careers.
"Man, why didn't I think of doing something like that?" said the Republican Senator. "If you vote for me, I'll form a committee after the election season to explore the reasons we didn't think of that!"
To save face, Republicans have promised to cook up something extra special for voters next year in the form of a strong resolution saying free speech is good.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Funny. But not really. Accurate by 110%
I see the Bee has laid off the satire and is just reporting the news again.
Agreed.
Only thing that’s not accurate is the eccentric part.
Mathematically impossible. Elon Musk isn’t an antiperspirant…
(Though his name is musk…)
Actually not accurate in implying Rep hold all the power for decades!
Trent Lott “We need to do something about talk radio.”
“Only thing that’s not accurate is the eccentric part.”
My first thought also!
The problem is not that we have lost free speech but that millions are saying things that should form the basis for change, and other millions are ignoring those facts in plain sight and choosing ridiculous alternatives.
Border security, stolen election, the frauds of climate change and green energy, the need to prosecute swamp creatures — all can be said pretty much anywhere, any time, without consequences, as we do here non-stop, but what actually happens?
Nothing.
There’s your problem. The assault on free speech is real to some extent, but the real problem is just bone-headed stupidity of half the country, although at least in your case it’s only half, try the same set of challenges with two thirds or three quarters as boneheads.
Even the Bee can’t make the actual facts funny, they are just depressing.
Another GREAT ONE from the Bee!!
Same reason they had to be rid of Trump - he was too successful 🤪
There is no satire here. The Bab speaks the truth.
Absolute truth.
It doesn’t take much effort for anyone to do more than Republicans do. All they do is talk.
LOL! Great comment.
Satire is getting harder and harder to do.
I guess now they’ll stop using the Algo-rhythym method for population control.
Trump’s accomplishments made them look bad.
He exposed BOTH parties.
Accountability is nearly non-existent in this country.
DC is so corrupt everyone is afraid to go after even the most blatant cases of malfeasance, dishonesty, hypocrisy and outright theft. They know if they do it could trigger a chain of events that destroys everyone.
They all abide by an unwritten law to not kill the goose that lays the golden eggs in DC. Silence is indeed golden.
The greatest African-American accomplishment for freedom and equality in 60 years!
Wait...
I thought the Bee was satire???
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