Loved these as a kid. They helped make me the smart-ass I am today!
Posted on 04/11/2022 1:22:15 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
False advertising is a stain on the fabric of our society. In order to thoroughly bleach this fabric and make it soft with extra fabric softener, we have assembled honest company slogans that we now demand all businesses to switch to.
NO EXCEPTIONS!
Nike: Slavery: just do it.
Walmart: We clean the bathrooms sometimes!
Doritos: Better go ahead and buy two bags, fatty.
Applebee's: Eatin' Food In A Place.
Subway: Eat…something?!
United Airlines: We just said the skies are friendly. We made no promises about what happens inside the plane.
Spirit Airlines: You're poor, aren't you?
The American Federation Of Teachers: We care. About ourselves.
Google: Don't Be Evil.
Twitter: Now 9.2% less evil!
Facebook: Hey guys come back! Please?
Nintendo: What is an Internet?
Microsoft: You hate us but have to use us anyway! lolol
T-Mobile: The sound of silence.
Coca-Cola: Share a Coke with…your endocrinologist, because you now have diabetes.
Taco Bell: We're cheaper than Ex-Lax.
Amazon: Shut up and buy it, you mindless consumer.
BlackRock: Ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
Home Depot: If you need to ask for help, you don't deserve it.
Panera: Your Bible study wouldn't be complete without some overpriced microwave food!
Disney: Weeee'lll convert your childreeeeen!
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
LOLOL on this one!!!
“Twitter: Now 9.2% less evil!”
“Ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul” ought to be on Amazon, too.
Disney: It's a small "it" after all...
NFL: Not Football Lovers
Planned Parenthood:We hate parenting
National Education Association:We hate Planned Parenthood survivors
Fox News:News for people who think they're not liberal but really are.
Tesla:We're against EV tax credits now that we've used up all our allotments.
ESPN: The CNN of sports
Ok I don’t get that one
Blockbuster Video: We’re still open! Well, one store anyway.
Planned Parenthood: We hate children.
Good stuff.
“Ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul”:
One ring to rule them all,
one ring to find them,
One ring to bring them all
and in the darkness bind them.
-Tolkien, Lord of the Rings
Ahhhh, thank you.
It’s not the whole inscription:
Ash nazg durbatulûk,
ash nazg gimbatul,
Ash nazg thrakatulûk
agh burzum-ishi krimpatul
(And it’s a lot prettier written in the Elvish.)
Loved these as a kid. They helped make me the smart-ass I am today!
“T-Mobile: The sound of silence.”
LOL! Ain’t that the truth.
I am also a product of The Tree Stooges and Mad Magazine, rounded out later in life by Gary Larson.
Or: When kids pay union dues, we'll care about kids.
Lieberals lack a sense of humor
.
Black Rock = Lizard People from Outer Space.
Oh I know that.
I figured it had something to do with Cthulhu
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