Are You A Groomer? 9 Things To Look For (BABYLON BEE)

babylonbee.com ^ | 4/7/2022 | STAFF

[bitt]

Oh no! Everyone's calling everyone else "groomer" and now we're all confused! Are you a groomer? Is your neighbor a groomer? Let the experts at The Babylon Bee help you sort it out.

Here are all the warning signs you may be a groomer: 1. Do you talk about sex with 5-year-olds behind their parents' back?

2. Do you begin sentences with, "Don't tell your parents, but..."

3. Do you encourage kids to cut off their sex organs?

4. Are you a Disney Executive?

5. Did you quit your teaching job after they passed the Parental Rights Act in Florida?

6. Does taking other people's kids to a drag show and calling it a "field trip" seem ok to you?

7. Are you now, or have you ever been, a politician?

8. Have you ever helped a child acquire sex hormones without their parent's knowledge?

9. Does David French think you're a "blessing of liberty?"

Tally up your number of "Yes" answers and consult this chart:

[bitt]

P

[katana]

One can always rely on The Bee to deliver a much-deserved sharp stick in the eye to “Woke” Leftism.

[healy61]

It’s high and away, and gone, it’s gone. It’s out of the park. LOL

[atc23]

Disney’s customer base is sick middle aged pedo’s and their theme parks are a safe space for dirty old men to either gawk at kiddies or meet up.

FACTS

[Ken H]

We’ve flipped universes. Mainstream news articles sound like the Bee and the Bee sounds like serious news.

[ProtectOurFreedom]

10. Have you ever asked little boys "Do you like movies about gladiators?"

[Tell It Right]

10. Do you enjoy introducing small kids to disco music?

11. When working as a lifeguard did you let kids stroke your leg hairs?

12. Is your favorite western Brokeback Mountain?

13. Have you been playing Pokemon for 20 years?

14. Has Joseph Smith been your hero ever since you learned that some of his wives were 14?

15. When listening to Joan Jett's I Love Rock n Roll, does the line "I knew he musta been about 17" make you ask "why did she wait so long"?

[eyeamok]

Pretty damned Funny, but True still the same.

[Rummyfan]

LOL! But sadly not far from the truth…..

[Liz]

Tally up your number of “Yes” answers and consult this chart:

1-2: Oh no! You’re a groomer!

3-4: Wow. Definitely a groomer.

5-6: Yep, still groomer.

7-8: There’s a Law & Order SVU episode with your name on it.

9: Ok, we’re calling the police.

[seowulf]

16. Do you like to sniff little girls’ hair while touching them and making them feel uncomfortable?

17. Do you like to shower with your daughters?

[usurper]

Disney’s customer base is sick middle aged pedo’s and their theme parks are a safe space for dirty old men to either gawk at kiddies or meet up.

Look Disney just decided to transition from a family entertainment company. Now instead of one day a year for gay and trans people they will have one day a year for everyone else. I am sure their revenues will skyrocket.

[Wilderness Conservative]

This is a decent guide to watch out for and to advise your kids on as well.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Do you like to swim nekkid in front of female Secret Service agents?

Oh, wait, that’s adult on adult. Doesn’t qualify for this test.

Never mind.

[gundog]

[Fiji Hill]

18. Is Let's Get Together by Hayley Mills (1961) on your playlist? Interestingly, it was issued on the Vista label, which is owned by Disney.

[Fledermaus]

Lobe the diss of David French

[Fledermaus]

“Gave you ever seen a grown man naked”?

[M Kehoe]

Bttt.

5.56mm