Posted on 04/04/2022 9:29:49 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
RAT LAND—A rat colony underneath Washington, D.C. recently became aware of a surface world with blue skies, warm sunlight, and abundant garbage. The colony, ruled by a council of noble volunteers, was planning a great move to the "land of plenty" until it was discovered to be infested with hundreds of politicians.
"Ewww! No wonder our ancestors made their home in the bowels of the earth," said Whisker Nosewrangle in ancient Sumerian, the language all rats speak. "Disgusting!"
"Rats, it is hereby forbidden to breach the surface," said a representative of the rat council. "The way is shut! We cannot allow the infestation to corrupt our minarchist utopia."
Surface rats who previously had no knowledge of the subterranean rat colony promptly abandoned their homes in favor of a more just and dignified society.
"Politicians are filthy and yet humans flock after them," explained Trevor Vermin, a bewildered rodent refugee from the surface. "I'm so glad to be here with my own kind and away from dirty politicians!"
The rat council ordered passage to the surface barricaded and advised their society to mask up and wash thoroughly to help slow the spread of politics.
Unfortunately, before the land could be sealed away, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi began planting ideas in the ears of some of the younger rats who promptly overthrew their minimalist government and elevated Rat King Plague-Hammer to the throne.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
ROFL!!!
Washington DC, where they took a perfectly good swamp and turned it into a sewer.
Thank you!
I just sent this to my kid. He’s majoring in International Relations and Finance at a Virginia college and is interning in DC this summer.
He thinks he wants to do the DC thing after he graduates!!!
That image would make a great MC Escher work.
Finally, a Babylon Bee satirical story which will not come true. (probably)
“They’re depraved and don’t even know what a female is.”
The Bee hits it out of the park yet again!
I thought the Bee was a satire site! They absolutely nailed this one.
FR needs more humor like this and less of the finger pointing.
A Difference of Opinion is a good thing.
It's The Babylon Bee, rodent you just know.
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