Posted on 03/28/2022 6:41:01 PM PDT by golux
BREAKING - MSM
Violence came to the Academy Awards last night, shocking Hollywood and the world. Popular comedian Chris Rock, host of the event, was mercilessly cut down in an unprovoked act of racist violence by Paul Reubens AKA Pee-Wee Herman, who gestured violently at Mr. Rock with his index finger, pleading with him with clearly supremacist condescension to "please be nice."
“It was disgusting - the worst thing I could have imagined,” said internationally recognized political commentator and renowned intellectual pundit Whoopi Goldberg, winner of the Maya Angelou "I represent the bird in the cage, get it?" Prize for Literary Complexity. “Another example of the bloody legacy of the KKK. This is a Holocaust on Black America.”
Reubens has been described by one unnamed one-time hot-dog vendor whose stepfather lives not far from where Pee-Wee grew up, as an acolyte of Donald Trump. The bow-tie wearing monster, not available for comment during his first month of interrogation, is also said to have no explanation for his frequent visits to Florida, a state which is believed by conspiracy theorists to have voted for Trump in 2020.
Pee-Wee has long been suspected of white supremacist ties. "The worst," exclaimed White House Spokesperson Jen Psaki when asked about the outrageous crime. "The President draws an unequivocal line around this thing, and the other thing, as a deterrent, for racism and the world. The President used to drive a truck!"
“Dottie,” a crony of Pee-Wee’s, is said to have used the N-word on at least three occasions while playing the minor role of a prostitute in the African American cultural coming of age film "Beat the Shit out dat White Bitch," winner of the Malcolm X Peace Prize for Art. The scriptwriter, AK-Shabazz AKA Fuk Da Elitist Educashun Systemz, now famed Director of Undergraduate Studies for Film at Columbia University, was not available for comment.
One source for this story called Pee-Wee “a modern-day Hitler, hell-bent on destroying Freedom.” Hitler, also white, was unavailable for comment.
Pee-Wee was arrested immediately following the attack and has been placed in isolation, in part to protect him from other inmates. One of these, known as "Large Marge," told our reporter that Pee-Wee “was as good as dead” if left in the general population. "Unless, of course, he identifies as a woman, in which case he will bunk with us other guys who identify as women."
Sources close to the ongoing investigation credit the FBI for uncovering a web of white supremacist anti-government extremists in Hollywood, loosely connected to a bicycle theft ring led by the notorious “Fat Francis.”
The attack will be charged as a premeditated hate crime; Pee Wee faces up to 50 years in prison.
"I am baffled," said the teary-eyed victim at a press conference earlier. "All I did was compliment his wife's hair."
It’d be more believable if peewee wasn’t a homo/pedo. ;)
Not the right way to view it
View it from the frame of what this is saying about cuckold simp Will Smith
Terrific stuff.
WTF did I just read???
Dotty was haf
I told you - mescaline is ‘da best!
Haven’t been to a movie in many years.
They ruined movies
many years ago.
Watch old Oscar’s, way more class.
I heard that peewee was sitting right behind some dude at a theater who got shot in the back of the head right in front of him
I think he’s more like Toobin.
Addled Mind stuff, early Sometimer’s Disease.
Somebody want to translate this verbal concussion case?
“The President draws an unequivocal line around this thing, and the other thing, as a deterrent...”
You left out that thing. Three things. Dis, dat and the udder ting.
Nehemiah Persoff - the "Little Dictator" - is still alive and well at 103!
Regards,
Well done.
I don’t know, but it is Babylon Bee worthy
I liked it
Fabulous!
There is that, too, but the double standard was finally addressed by Fox’s Jesse Watters...though Mel Gibson didn’t take too well to being the object of the question.
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