Posted on 02/20/2022 6:52:47 AM PST by LibWhacker
Just a question (you don’t have to answer me, just think about it) .... do you think he could work himself up to being violent?
I recently heard a podcast on “The Violence Project” with forensic psychologist Dr. Jillian Peterseon. She has a website that has been set up as an “off ramp” to violence - lots of resources.
After looking at the resources, there are a bunch & some of them that might be worth talking to about your nephew. Your nephew, being an adult, is a very difficult situation since to have any ‘control’, you’d have to go to court. Whatever mental issues he had prior to/as a result of drug addiction, it’s complicated further because as with a lot of folks with mental issues, they either don’t take their meds or take them on an irregular basis (assuming he’s been properly diagnosed & meds are appropriate in the first place).
Something that MAY help YOU & your wife is to talk to some of these resource folks & get help for yourselves ... how to deal with him or NOT deal with him, not feeling guilty if you can’t help him, etc.
Anyway, here’s a link - mental health, drug addiction resources are on the list.
Main website
https://off-ramp.org/
Specific links for drug addition, mental health, etc.
https://off-ramp.org/resources/
Best wishes to you & your wife .... it’s terrible when a family member has such issues (I had an aunt who was institutionalized off/on for years - when she started showing excessive interest in the knife drawer, it was scary times) - you love them and want to help, but sometimes you just cannot. ~Q
Narcissism.
If you can’t get him in for help, and if it’s impacting you enough, then you too can see a therapist. That therapist will help you to understand the trait and how to deal with it.
Most therapists say “You can’t deal with this. Get a restraining order”.
Narcissism can be really bad. I had (Have, I guess .. I’m working on it) traits of it. I worked with a therapist to fix it.
Self-sufficient, hearty and esteemed people develop the traits. It’s not really their fault. A narcissist is ok to be around for a bit, but for those who live with them it can be a hell. Almost cost me my marriage.
Thats what this guy sounds like to me. He’s not a sociopath, a psychopath or probably not even a borderline personality disorder.
There are a lot of Christians that have no clue about the spiritual Realm
Sorry the choice for this poor soul was made 20 years ago.
Sorry the goverment did not fund a path through Army, Navy or Marines in 2002, they want IT operators. The DOD and the state was not interested in reforming this kids with learning disablists and a low interaction with everything. The K-12 systems let the drop out happen for the functional because they are expensive to school systems.
His support group was not their for him in 2002 and your asking a public forum when he is 38. Long past midcourse correction, this poor souls life was ignored by his parents when he was 16 - 22 where corrections and GEDs matter.
I know plenty of crazy people, on all sorts of legal and illegal drugs. Some gender transitioned, some campaigned for hillary, some think Obama was qualified to be president, some run community theaters, one gardens with his own poop. They vote democrat but their parents at least got them to 22 in an employable status not living in a cardboard box. Few couch surf and I have had a few show up to do chores for a roof as I am not heartless, but no pot, no street drugs, no off your medication events. And most of all when you are on my couch you have to listen to me compain the world is shit because of people not caring for themselves.
The soul goal of parenthood, hand you genetic goo to the world as moral, useful and supporting themselves at age 22. Keeping the failures around until your death is a 1st world problem. Sending your kid or nephew 1600 bucks a month to make rent at 38 should be a warning sign that institutionalization is mandatory at 45. If it is jail it is free, if it is done the correct way it is much more than 1600 bucks a month.
Yes, quite a dilemma and you are very kind to reach out for suggestions. I worked in a psychiatric hospital for many years and saw first hand the pain, chaos and heartbreak this has on the patient and family. We made referrals to halfway houses but only after a stay in the hospital for thorough evaluation, to get medications regulated and watch for some potential and sometimes dangerous side effects. Most patients responded well but others, after repeated admissions, could never respond or improve.
People like this need discipline, try the military or remote work site without distractions.
I have one like this, and the extended family doesn’t want to do what is needed.
If you have the power to do the needful, do it. They will tank you later in life.
If he isn’t working, how is he getting money? And how has he not been arrested given his drug issues? There is a show lout addicts where they preach “tough love” hard-core. Cut the person off, no more contact, no more visits until they seek help, get sober, and prove they are gonna stay that way. Sounds like he is getting $$ help from someone, likely family. Whoever is enabling him has to stop. It,sounds “cruel” to bleeding heart type folks, but enabling someone to continue in drugs is helping them to commit suicide eventually. (This is contingent on how bad his drug issues are- if it’s occasional use, that’s one thing, but if it’s a $1000 a week drug habit, or,whatever, then they are on a slide to suicide)
Tough love and lots and lots of prayer.
You and your wife are in danger, move cross country. Seriously.
I think his dad went with him when he initially saw the doctor. But my brother-in-law hasn’t said much about that. I think there is some embarrassment there.
Someone has to be watching to the best of his ability and making him take his meds, and it can only be my brother-in-law.
Your nephew and you are now on mu daily prayer list.
May help to talk to this ministry.
It is free, and even if nothing else can be done immediately, they will be able to give you insight into the problem. Hope is huge.
Key Ministries, Dallas, TX
Micah Stephen Bell - plus staff - deliverance minister.
https://www.keyministries.org/
817-283-1700
Also, please consider to look up “The Schizophrenic Issue” in the book “Pigs in the Parlor” by Frank and Idamae Hammond, who were connected with this ministry.
They may not answer on Sunday, but the services are livestreamed and there are videos on the website explaining these very issues, and what can be done if one desires.
There is also another such ministry in Arkansas (Lake Hamilton Bible Camp, one in Louisiana, and one in Indiana near Chicago (Hegewisch Baptist Church). Both have websites and much information.
There are NO others can recommend biblically at this time, and that especially includes exorcism by RC priests. Most other so-called deliverance ministries are fraudulent, compromised, or money-hungry. Or are actually witch-doctors.
You need to convince your wife that his actions can and will affect her safety, security and well-being and that it isn’t up to her to ‘save’ him, regardless of her feelings.
Some people are beyond help and it serves no purpose to get dragged down into insanity with them.
Quite true. However, I've never put it past them to do whatever fits their agenda.
The move toward deinstitutionalization began in the 1950s, long before President Reagan was in politics.
Sometimes there is nothing you can do. You have to set a limit as to how much he is damaging the life of you and your family.
Tell him that unless he seeks help that you do not want to see him again. Tell him to get God in his life and to stay away until he does.
I can see you want to help but this one may be past the point of anything you can do. Unfortunately if he is just crazy he will come to his own end someday.
What you can do is not let him ruin you. Life is short.
Box lunch and a one way bus ticket to Portland, Ore.
My family has a long history of schizophrenia, been one or two per generation for 5 generations, including my younger brother. Most serious mental illness is a biochemical issue and the anti-psychotics address the symptoms not the cause. And the self-medicating with recreational drugs is the same.
He was treated with IV B vitamins in the 70’s (as a teen) and made a complete recovery in about 6 months of weekly infusions. The difference was apparent immediately after the first infusion. He remains very careful about food (no sugar, lots of B vitamins) and has been a successful productive adult. It was a controversial treatment at the time and I don’t think it has ever become widely accepted but it worked for him and if any of my kids presented with mental illness it is the first thing I would do.
Nowadays, there are quite a few clinics doing IV therapy for anti-aging, sports medicine, drug rehab, etc. There are even mobile services that do them in home. Prices vary wildly, from $200 to $2000, so shop around.
It’s late in the game for your nephew, but it can’t hurt and it might help. That’s my two cents, fwiw.
Another important point from the addicts show- STOP being a victimhe has made you and his loved ones victims because you all worry and fret about him. he has power over you all if you let him victimize you this way. You have to learn to let go, set down boundaries and stick to them o matter what, and let whatever happens happen, as tough as that is to take. This doesn’t mean you can’t encourage him to get help, over and over, but refuse to be a victim yourself. Don’t let him drag you down with him if he’s determined to ruin his life. We need to give th3se sitatu8ns to God because it is obvious that what we have tried does not work. It’s tough giving it to God to the pointmwhere we can have peace about it, but we must
Now that was short and very sweet! LOL
That is great advice, as were your other comments, thanks!
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