Posted on 02/20/2022 6:52:47 AM PST by LibWhacker
Does anyone have any experience in getting help for a seriously disturbed friend or relative? In this case, the seriously disturbed person is our nephew, aged 38, and we're really beginning to worry about what is going to happen to him in the not-too-distant future.
He dropped out of high school in the 9th or 10th grade. I don't think he's ever read a book. He cannot hold a job: there is almost NO chance of that. In fact, I'd guess he's never held a job more than a month or two, tops.
I once caught him bringing marijuana into our house and told him it could cost his beloved aunt (my wife), who I believe he really does love, the house she worked so hard for, IF the feds found drugs in the house and decided to prosecute. He told me marijuana was now legal in Caifornia and that that could never happen. This expertise based on his experience working two weeks as a file clerk in a law firm, before they fired him for being an obnoxious so-and-so (he tried to tell them how to organize their filing system, and that the way they were doing it was beyond dumb).
When I told him he didn't know anything about the law he said, "Uncle Joe (not my real name), I know everything about the law." That based on two weeks as a file clerk in a law office!
And so it's been with every job he's ever held... He knows how to do things better than they do and always gets fired within a month or so. This has been going on for over 20 years.
His own mother can't stand him and will not allow him to come around. His father is the only person who helps him, but is old and won't be able to do that much longer.
His sister's only child is embarrassed to have him around (that niece decided he was too much of an embarrassment when she was all of seven years old) and so he can't go there anymore.
He mutters and talks and shouts to himself and erupts in scary outbursts for no apparent reason, in private and in public.
When he was young he was quite cute and went through a series of puppies he'd carry around, or lead around on a leash, to attract girls and get them in bed. But he's not cute anymore. He's scary.
Recently, doctors have prescribed anti-psychotic meds and I understand those meds help a lot. But he doesn't like them won't take them as prescribed, or at all, if you're not standing over him with a whip and forcing him to take them, which his dad is pretty much incapable of doing anymore.
I told my wife I thought he needs to be institutionalized. But she says there is no institutionalizing people like that anymore, "thanks to your hero Reagan."
Uh, WHAT???
So what to do? Any ideas? I really do want to help him but don't have a clue what to do. He's not moving in with us, that's for sure. Google, Duck Duck Go, etc., aren't much help.
When his father dies, that's when it's going to hit the fan.
Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
All those symptoms to me seem to indicate a long time hard core drug user. Meth, fentanyl, heroin, xanax, other pills, etc.
Try not to think too much about him. He’s not ever going to change.
Sorry, no help from here, but I’ll be watching this thread. With a word or two changed you could have been describing a niece of mine. Even ages are similar. I wish you well in your search.
He’s controlled by demons and you need strong spiritual leadership to help cast them out
Maybe they should get together.
can his dad talk to his doctor and tell the doctor what’s really going on?
he may be also self medicating besides what he is prescribed.
“All those symptoms to me seem to indicate a long time hard core drug user. Meth, fentanyl, heroin, xanax, other pills, etc.”
Yeah, the issue is probably moot: The 38-year old nephew doesn’t sound like he’s going to live to see 39.
No trouble with the law? Amazed.
<< I once caught him bringing marijuana into our house and told him it could cost his beloved aunt (my wife), who I believe he really does love, the house she worked so hard for, IF the feds found drugs in the house and decided to prosecute. He told me marijuana was now legal in Caifornia and that that could never happen. >>
The nutcase is right about that, at least.
At this stage any conventional form of treatment is tossing time and/or money into a black hole. It ultimately is a spiritual thing and as the Good Book says “this one only comes out by prayer”. They need an rhema movement of truth to cut away decades of fog that can only come from heaven.
I do believe that MJ is legal in California as is growing and selling. There is some science that says MJ helps the condition, but I may be misremembering.
He sounds a bit like the brother of my ex-wife who is schizophrenic and is slowly going blind.
He is unable to work or hold a job, just sits in his apartment all day talking to himself. He too is not taking his meds. The family does what they can to help him, but there is not much they can do to beyond visiting as often as possible.
I would guess you need a legal diagnosis (psychiatrist, neurologist, medical tests like brain MRIs, etc) and the take steps to assume guardianship.
Any drug usage other than pot? ... Any criminal history, any arrests?
Give him a list of no-cost drug rehab places, then show him the door and tell him not to come back until he’s gotten some help and was staying with it. Stop with the worry and upset. It’s ALL up to him. There’s NOTHING you can do to straighten him up. Been there.
At 38 he can’t be changed, especially if he is truly disturbed. Keep away from him and help those close to him stay safe with the best advise. Let him drift and end where nature takes him.
Cut all ties with this guy. You can’t help him; he sounds what homelessness is made for.
In New Hampshire, in 1955, there were 6000 beds for mentally ill people who could not care for themselves or who were disposed to hurt other people.
Today, there are 135 beds for them.
And there are a lot more crazy people now than there were then.
I agree 100% with Georgia Girl 2 — unfortunately, he’s never going to change. Honestly, if he’s as scary as you say he is, he’s possibly a danger to himself AND others. I’d be cautious if I were you.
Yes, I agree. I don’t know what he’s been using exactly. But I do know he’s been doing drugs since his early teens.
There is a saying in the addiction community: “If nothing changes, then nothing changes.” He has to want to change, first.
You can’t make him. But God does weird things, so get him involved.
Find a good church that will pray for him. Then find help within that church family to set up an intervention; meaning, a clear presentation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the offering of a new path that leads to a life with purpose and peace, vice the eternal destruction he is facing.
Having done that, it’s placed in God’s hands.
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