Posted on 02/15/2022 12:14:31 PM PST by nickcarraway
The results were mixed.
One morning last summer, I woke up and announced, to no one in particular: “I choose to be happy today!” Next I journaled about the things I was grateful for and tried to think more positively about my enemies and myself. When someone later criticized me on Twitter, I suppressed my rage and tried to sympathize with my hater. Then, to loosen up and expand my social skills, I headed to an improv class.
I was midway through an experiment—sample size: 1—to see whether I could change my personality. Because these activities were supposed to make me happier, I approached them with the desperate hope of a supplicant kneeling at a shrine.
Psychologists say that personality is made up of five traits: extroversion, or how sociable you are; conscientiousness, or how self-disciplined and organized you are; agreeableness, or how warm and empathetic you are; openness, or how receptive you are to new ideas and activities; and neuroticism, or how depressed or anxious you are. People tend to be happier and healthier when they score higher on the first four traits and lower on neuroticism. I’m pretty open and conscientious, but I’m low on extroversion, middling on agreeableness, and off the charts on neuroticism.
Researching the science of personality, I learned that it was possible to deliberately mold these five traits, to an extent, by adopting certain behaviors. I began wondering whether the tactics of personality change could work on me.
(Excerpt) Read more at theatlantic.com ...
...agreeableness, or how warm and empathetic you are...
I see “agreeableness” as a beta male trait. That is, you may tend to “be agreeable” about stuff instead of standing your ground. Trump is definitely NOT “agreeable”.
Spoiler alert!.............................she failed............
Three vodka martoonies would do that for me in an evening out.
Someone post a Stewart Smalley pic.
Hey, snowflake, criticism doesn't equal hate.
Thank you for that! That was what i wondered, success or failure? She must score low on the discipline side, or she just can’t (or not worth the effort to) shake the neuroses.
“tried to think more positively about my enemies”
Start by thinking of them as opponents or competitors instead of enemies. Stop going through life with this “it’s them or me” drama infused thought life. Junior High is over.
It does for these all or nothing types. I have a sister who is like this. She thinks people are out to get her when they simply provide another point of view. Her highs are high and her lows are low. I love her, but it is hard to be around her for any length of time.
As my mother-in-law is wont to say, “Some people like to be miserable.”
I changed my personality once. It had the effect of attracting many people to me. I quit THAT crap in a hurry.
Serial killer by next week.
I keed, I keed.
I don’t think I can change my core personality but I can improve my outlook, attitude and outcomes.
I read affirmations to boost my confidence. I have about 50:
I know the right person is arriving in divine order at precisely the right time.
I am an infinite spiritual being having a human experience.
I allow success, friends and riches into my life.
I am always in gratitude and awe of what I have been given.
__________________________
The brain is the original computer. It gets programmed by inputs, on way or another. I prefer to program it myself as much as possible rather than just let the outside world do it at random. Too much negativity out there. Bad juju.
Yes; the word ‘personality’ doesn’t imply the same thing to me as ‘character traits’, which latter seems to be what the author is really discussing.
This must be an atheists list of 5. I do not see self-absorption on it. Without it, you are free to serve God, family, and community. There are a lot of rich folks who live their entire lives serving themselves to every type of drug, sex, and thrill, and wind up realizing that they just aren’t that into themselves.
There is only one way to achieve happiness within, and it always starts with Eliminating TV and the entire Entertainment Industry from your life, then and only then will you have a shot at Always being Happy .
Stop expecting to be happy.
Frank Zappa said it best....”Don’t expect friends, don’t expect fun, don’t expect a good life, don’t expect anything, and if you do get something, it’s a bonus!”
Or as I say, “Some people aren’t happy unless they have something to bitch about.”
Reminds me of the time Banjamin Franklin set out to master what he considered the 13 highest virtues of humanity. He said he had mastered the first twelve but had to give up on the final virtue, humility. He could not master that, he said, because if he did he would feel immense pride in the accomplishment and would hence lose his humility. Because of this paradox he just went back to being good ‘ol Ben and stopped trying to be perfect.
Thanks for that, saved me some reading time.
I have been pretty angry for the past 14 months or so, and not getting over it. And seem to be particularly set off by anything that goes wrong, related to Covid 19.
And I was angry for the 8 years 0bama was in office, too, but worse now. And I don’t trust anything in the MSM.
Seriously, I need to dial back on my constant anger, which cannot be good for my overall well-being. But maybe the lesson here is that it will not be possible.
Interesting. I am in a highly competitive business and I am one of the least competitive people I know.
Only mildly interesting.
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