Posted on 02/11/2022 10:27:25 AM PST by xp38
INGLEWOOD, CA—President Joe Biden is planning to wipe out the National Debt with a genius double or nothing bet on the Cincinnati Bengals. Biden held a meeting with the Treasury Department to go over the plan. "My bookie, ole Jiffy Dan, was a little hesitant to accept a $30 Trillion bet but I says to him, 'Look, Jiffy Baby, if you hook me up I'll pardon you for all your illegal gambling," said Biden.
He then explained how Jiffy Dan was a smart Black man from South Central who was surprisingly articulate before Dr. Jill Biden reminded him to act less racist.
"Look, here's the honest truth, Jack," said Biden, refocused. "The Bengals are in it to win it. They do that and the slate is clean. No more debt!" Sources in the Treasury Department reveal everyone in the meeting disagreed with the president's plan except for the one guy they're pretty sure is a Chinese plant.
"Mr. President, I think this is a great idea," said Xau Fong.
The Bengals are the current underdogs going into this year's Super Bowl, but economic experts say this was the only way Jiffy Dan would accept such a large debt.
"If we lose, at least only half the debt goes to China. The rest will go to this Jiffy guy," said economic strategist Brent Esther. "Maybe that wouldn't be so bad."
That’s excellent! It’s still 3 Trillion for the Big Guy!
Why do we allow the Bee to write these articles. Almost everything they write comes true.
Stop the train.
Yeah? I bet the idiot didn’t get the points.
So, when the Rams win, and we don’t pay 60 billion right now... will Jiffy Dan break all of our legs collectively?
It really doesn’t matter much whether Biden wins or loses. If he wins, Congress will just quickly run up the debt again. And if he loses, an infinite debt times two is still an infinite debt.
On the other hand, if that Jiffy Dan guy can figure out a way to hedge the bet, he could make out okay.
Just one snag. If I were Jiffy I’d want the 30 trillion up front. No IOUs.
One of his better ideas, to be honest. This one might work out!
That’s the trick. It’s tough to lay off 30 trillion in just 2 days. You need at least a week I hear.
It’s his best move to date.
Russia going in on Super Bowl Sunday?
Actually he bet on the 49’s
If Joe wins then Hunter can skim off a trillion or so for hookers & blow.
Tthe bad news is the payoff will be in Chicom manufactured crack pipes.
Hell I’ll take 50/50 on a debt that can never be repaid back anyway. 50/50 is the best odds I’ve given anything this administration has done or will do so as far as I’m concerned.
Go for it!
The only thing that would have made the story better would have been if Corn Pop had been the bookie.
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