PS I liked the "Doctor's Office" joke.
Posted on 01/14/2022 5:17:05 AM PST by sodpoodle
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, “What's the story?” He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor.” She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her driver’s license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together! Just yesterday they took my license away and now today you expect me to show it to you?”
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. “Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.” The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, “You're not really a redhead, are you?” “Well, no,” she said, “I'm actually a blonde.” “I thought so,” the doctor said, “Your finger is broken.”
KNITTING A Highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!” “NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT'S A SCARF!”
BLONDE ON TIME A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named “Rolex” and one was named “Timex”. Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
“Helllooooo...! ,” answered the blonde. “They're watchdogs.”
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
In the swim-meet, after the blond came in last competing n the breaststroke, she complained to the judges that all the other girls were using their arms.
.............................
.
OMG!
Reminded me of this old joke:
A very prestigious, and internationally recognized cardiologist who was nearing the end of his career to leave the spotlight and stress of leading the cardiologist staff of the Mayo Clinic, and moved to a small, rural hospital in the Florida Panhandle. He told the staff at the Mayo Clinic, “I am tired of dealing with CEO’s and millionaires who are too busy to take care of their hearts, and look forward to the simple country lifestyle of patching up farmers and their bankers who have simply worn their hearts out.”
Sadly, after only four short years of simpler life, the Cardiologist died of cancer. When his comrades from the Mayo Clinic heard the sad news they told the family that they wanted to help them plan a very elaborate funeral, to pay their respects for this great man who had so much influence on doctors all over the world. A huge heart, covered in flowers, stood behind the casket during the service at the church, and all in attendance were in awe, having never seen such an event. Following the eulogy, as harp music played, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
All of a sudden, one of the mourners in the back of the church burst out in laughter. Every head turned to see the source of this disrespectful laughter. It was one of the country doctors from the small town hospital. With the whole crowd glaring at him in disgust, the doctor held up his hand and said, “I am so sorry folks, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful, he was a great friend. I was just thinking of my own funeral. I’m a Proctologist.”
That’s an Italian Target pistol...
If its a true story about how you and your blonde relatives actually think,
= = =
Actually it could be the blonde pulling a reverse joke on the mechanic.
Which is funnier.
How is it you don’t realize everyone understands the overgeneralization regarding blondes is fictional? Irony?
How is it HH don’t understand that to be made a mockery of is something to deal with?
It’s not funny. None of those jokes are funny
There is truth in humor
There’s no truth to those jokes.
It’s old. It’s bigoted.
Comedy is just comedy... It isn't a dk so don't take it so hard 😜
Q. What is the one thing that brunettes miss most about an awesome party?
A. An invinvitatio
Q. Which company makes bras for brunettes?
A. FisFisher-Price
Q. Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
A. It matches the colour of their mousmoustache
Q. What is the main reason a brunette is able to keep her figure?
A. Nobody else wants it.
Q: What do you call a really good looking man who is with a brunette?
A: A hosthostag
Q. What's a brunette's mating call?
A. “Has the blonde left yet?
Okay. I don’t find those particularly funny anyway. It’s a formula. After 2 or 3 of them they all seem the same too. Didn’t mean to offend. Happy FReeping!
I’m not in the least offended. Allowing myself an opportunity to opine on stupid pointless bigoted jealous blonde jokes. I’ve earned it. I’m not offended by stupid people
PS I liked the "Doctor's Office" joke.
Recycled jokes...they used to be polak jokes, italian jokes, black jokes...nothing new except now they’re aimed at a group that everyone deems safe to pick on.
Key indications of an offended liberal:
1. They must comment on thing which they find offensive. Even if they claim not to find the offending Peron/action to be worth their time
2. They claim anything that slightly irritated them is bigotry, ignorant, and should be corrected
3. They claim to have a sense of humor (and do when insulting other groups) but are deeply offended by anything related to them despite the obviously exaggerated content
4. Their key message is “I’m not saying, I’m just saying you are a bigot and stupid and hurt my feelings! Where is my safe space!?”
5. They don’t care about stupid bigots but MUST comment rather than move to the next article, tweet, Facebook post, Instagram, etc.
“Cause I’m a Blonde”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ol4oWChjzk
I’m a liberal because I object to dumb blonde jokes?
Don’t be stupid.
❗5️⃣: incapable of scrolling past the offensive post, tweet, Instagram, article, etc because it wouldn’t be right to ignore people they don’t know on the internet. They MUST show/educate the offenders about the injustice that the offending action has inflicted upon others. And try to bestow guilt and bring forth political correctness to the offender and anyone who may laugh, agree, or otherwise not see the error in said offenses.
No you are a PC justice warrior who needs a safe place. Though commonly a liberal trait, I guess you can just be a hypocritical conservative 🤔
“ No you are a PC justice warrior who needs a safe place.
Nope just pushing back. Anti wimp. Opposite.
Why did the brunette cross the road?
Nobody knows, they were staring at the blonde.
Pushing back against light hearted jokes and silly things that offend you... Please explain how that is considered opposite. I am blonde, so maybe I’m missing the logic 😂😂🤣
You quote where I say I was offended and number the post. Til then- I am having a Friday afternoon. I suggest you get back to your life
The dumb blonde jokes are stupid that’s all.
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