Posted on 12/15/2021 6:02:10 PM PST by conservatism_IS_compassion
I feel this is 100% correct. I worked with a guy who dated a girl and was getting serious with her UNTIL he learned she had maxed out her credit card. he said goodbye to her and she was furious.
When I met my wife, she was working two jobs to pay off bills left to her from a bad marriage. She was frugal and a hard worker. She impressed me. We've been together 40 years.
Mr mm and I have had our moments, and some of them have been pretty rocky, but fortunately we never dealt with abuse or infidelity.
I am honestly not sure how I would deal with either one of those. I know what Scripture says about divorce, but I cannot fathom staying on in either of those situations of the other was not willing to deal with them.
I didn't.
God said, "It is not good for Man to be alone."
Note that Paul says this is his own advice, not necessarily from The Lord.
Yeah, I know.
I just couldn’t help myself.
I joked with a couple of friends that you need to be compatible regarding faith, family, finances and toilet paper. Seriously I advise couples to concentrate on being each others’ cheerleaders, not their coaches. There are plenty of coaches in the world but never-failing cheerleaders are rare and so needed. There’s a good reason why coaches and cheerleaders are not the same person: if people need to know what to do, they look to the coach; if they need to believe in themselves, they look to the cheerleader. If your spouse doesn’t know, when walking in the front door, whether you will greet them as a coach or a cheerleader, he or she will look for cheerleaders elsewhere. Btw, married 36.5 years.
That’s a funny quote.
It isn’t a primary mo, but it is very difficult having a high sex drive.
I can imagine that works very well.
Actually the same could be said about the man.
How we treat those who we consider beneath us is very revealing.
Exactly: 100/100.
Each should be ready, willing, and able to pick up the entire load on a moment’s notice. I don’t need to enumerate scenarios.
Each should trust that the other is doing their level best, given differing opinions, abilities, etc.
If something needs doing, few things cause more resentment than expecting the other do it - and then criticize how it’s done. Feel free to do better.
Life throws more than 100% at both of you. 50/50 doesn’t cover 180.
Accept the other’s contribution a gift. Don’t expect gifts.
What is a FICO score?
FICO is a consumer credit score.
Check your link.
Abuse, Adultery and Addiction are three things that will tear a marriage apart for good. You may remain together but the trust that is necessary is pretty much gone.
Well said.
A long time ago in San Francisco, there was a 12-step program called, “Sex and Love and Money and Power Anonymous. “ It was for people who didn’t know the difference.
Very interesting people turned up there. I was one of them, and a founder of the program. I had just left my rotten lousy billionaire husband. Not willing to put up with his drunken bullschtein no matter how many billions he had or airplanes, or huge boats, or big houses all over the place.
You cannot imagine the fascinating, interesting, highly-educated people who turned up there. Did them a lot of good.
That’s what I know.
We’re on the same page financially and only briefly held a mortgage for a few months while we were closing on the house we sold. Didn’t have much choice about that one.
Otherwise, we have never had any debt so finances have never been an issue for us. So we never paid much attention to our credit score.
I didn’t have much growing up and valued every penny. I worked too hard for my money and was not going to throw it away. That eliminated one major source of contention in our marriage.
We also had the agreement that there would never been any large purchases without both of us having a say in it and agreeing on it. So groceries and clothes, medical stuff, etc, was expected, but even anything like appliances needed both of us to make the decision.
Even today, anything over $100 or so needs to be discussed and “approved”. And that’s not a lot any more.
But I have known people who thought that they should follow his advice when it was obvious they were meant for marriage.
By the time they figured that out they had painted themselves into a corner.
Some people should not be married.
Some have been so damaged that they need to pick out their partner very carefully. Ruining someone else's life is not loving.
But most of us are meant to be married.
Selecting someone who is kind is a good start.
Being determined that you will be kind and supportive back even if it kills you is another.
I have seen any number of marriages fail and others that just limp along.
But when you have two people who decide that they are going to make it their goal to be kind to one another for the rest of their lives, that is the marriage that is happy.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.