Posted on 12/15/2021 6:02:10 PM PST by conservatism_IS_compassion
SUZANNE VENKER is the author of five books on the culture’s assault on marriage and the family (and how to circumvent it), as well as a marriage coach and podcast host of The Suzanne Venker Show. For over 15 years, Suzanne has taught women how to succeed with men in life and in love. She’s a leading voice for millions of women and men who know that a partnership with the opposite sex is superior to constant competition. Suzanne’s extensive research, combined with her sound and compelling arguments, dispel feminist myths that have infiltrated society and undermined women’s most important relationships. She has helped women:
• embrace the way men and women are naturally wired
• prioritize marriage and relationships over career
• express their unique value outside the marketplace
• enjoy the power of their femininity in sex and relationships
• build a lasting, satisfying relationship with a man
• build a flexible career that accommodates the needs of children and family life
Suzanne is a former columnist at the Washington Examiner and former contributor at Fox News. Her 2012 article, “The War on Men,” remains one of Fox News’ most read op-eds in history.
Suzanne’s work has also appeared in publications such as Time, USA Today, and the New York Post and has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Newsweek, The Atlantic, Forbes, The Huffington Post and London’s Daily Mail.
Her TV credits include Fox & Friends, STOSSEL, The View, CNN, ABC and more. She has appeared on hundreds of radio programs throughout the country, and her work has been featured on “The Dr. Laura Program,” “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” and “The Rush Limbaugh Show.”
A former English teacher, Suzanne was born in St. Louis, MO, and graduated from Boston University in 1990. After ten years on the East Coast, Suzanne returned to the Midwest, where she now lives with her husband of 23 years and their two teenagers, who are now in college. Her website is www.suzannevenker.com.
Similar Values,
A True Friendship,
Mutual Trust,
Mutual Respect.
Because those are foundational and don't change over time.
The usual list is good communication, mutual interests, and good sex... which can't be "foundational" because they change over time.
And then there are the ones who declare that she must do all of that while holding down a full time out side of the home job that allows them to buy many toys.
I am glad I married the guy I did. He loves me and I love him.
And if you are wondering what love means check out the verses 4-7 of First Corinthians chapter 13.
It is a lot of work. But it is very worth it.
And Meth.
I said that, then I did it again. And again. And again. And again.
If men treated their women as well after marriage, when they are wives, as they did before marriage, when they were girlfriends, they’d find they married their girlfriends.
Women like romance and to be made to feel important. The emotional aspect of relationships is what speaks to a woman. Reducing it to satisfying men’s bodily functions is simply using them and women are not so stupid as to not see that.
Yep, learn how and when to make a sandwich.
“Mary Matlin, in [Letters To My Daughters] shares an anecdote from her mother, who once said to Mary, “Men would screw a snake if it would sit still enough.”I know, right? I couldn’t stop laughing when I first read it. Don’t take it literally - most men aren’t that bad. It’s just a funny take on what is undoubtedly the biggest difference between men and women. You could never turn that around and say that women would screw a snake if it would sit still enough. Sex just isn’t a woman’s primary M.O.
For every Karen there is a MGTOW.
. . . which is actually one of Venker’s pet peeves whenever she hears a woman doing it.
1 Corinthians 7
1
Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. [1]
2
But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
3
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.
4
The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.
5
Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6
I say this as a concession, not as a command.
7
I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
8
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.
9
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
10
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.
11
But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
12
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.
13
And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.
14
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15
But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.
16
How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
17
Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.
18
Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised.
19
Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts.
20
Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him.
21
Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so.
22
For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord’s freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ’s slave.
23
You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.
24
Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to.
25
Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy.
26
Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are.
27
Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.
28
But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
29
What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none;
30
those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep;
31
those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
32
I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.
33
But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—
34
and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.
35
I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
36
If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married.
37
But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing.
38
So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better. [2]
39
A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
40
In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
If there's some left for you, you don't mind if you do:
Since marriage is a partnership as opposed to a business contract, it is grossly unjust to expect one person to shoulder the full responsibility for the success of the relationship.
Theoretically, yes, marriage could be 50/50, but each person should be willing to give that 100% when necessary.
There is plenty of blame to go around on both sides, but it does no one any good to broad brush an entire group of people based on a bad personal experience.
Exactly: 100/100.
Each should be ready, willing, and able to pick up the entire load on a moment’s notice. I don’t need to enumerate scenarios.
Each should trust that the other is doing their level best, given differing opinions, abilities, etc.
If something needs doing, few things cause more resentment than expecting the other do it - and then criticize how it’s done. Feel free to do better.
Life throws more than 100% at both of you. 50/50 doesn’t cover 180.
Accept the other’s contribution a gift. Don’t expect gifts.
It’s so funny you mentioned the book “How to marry the man of your choice.” Some years ago I gave that book to a friend of mine for her birthday. She actually read it and said it was very useful. It helped her to find a husband and she has been happily married for two years now.
That said, I have read the most important thing about a good relationship is having similar FICO scores. The bigger the disparity in those scores, the more the marriage is doomed.
My suspicion is that you should marry someone whom you knew as a casual friend before getting serious with them.
The dating scene is such a fake thing. You’re always on your best behavior, looking your best, etc. Knowing each other as friends first lets you get to really know that person.
Another thing to watch for is how the other person treats their family, especially how a man treats his mother or how a woman reacts to her father. Too many people either miss or choose to ignore warning signs.
Before my son got married, I told him to be very sure of what he was getting into and see if there was anything he felt he couldn’t live with because any problems you encounter before marriage are going to be 100 times worse after.
When I was growing up we were taught to take a young woman to a restaurant on the first date.
There was only piece of information we needed to know.
How did she treat the waiter and/or waitress.
At the slightest hint that she treated them with hostility, abuse or arrogance, the date was over.
Immediately.
Walk away from the table and leave her stranded over.
Good communication is necessary, butI would put mutual interests way down on the list.
It’s good to have some so you can enjoy doing some of them together, but I think it’s very healthy to have some that are not. I think each person should have some interests that get them out with their friends. It keeps them well rounded and from getting too ingrown and dependent on each other.
I don’t know how to explain it, but I think maybe it keeps a person more well rounded.
I was married to my first wife 47 years. She died of a heart attack in 2018.
I married again 1-1/2 years ago. Will be 74 in a few days, life is good again. God blessed me with another great woman. Seems like we have been married a long time already.
I wish it was that simple. I have been successfully married for over 33 years, but after the ring went on, the rules changed.
My grandfather told me: Wives want their husband to change after the wedding, but the men never do. Husbands want their wives to remain the same after the wedding, but the women never do. He was right.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.