My suspicion is that you should marry someone whom you knew as a casual friend before getting serious with them.
The dating scene is such a fake thing. You’re always on your best behavior, looking your best, etc. Knowing each other as friends first lets you get to really know that person.
Another thing to watch for is how the other person treats their family, especially how a man treats his mother or how a woman reacts to her father. Too many people either miss or choose to ignore warning signs.
Before my son got married, I told him to be very sure of what he was getting into and see if there was anything he felt he couldn’t live with because any problems you encounter before marriage are going to be 100 times worse after.
When I was growing up we were taught to take a young woman to a restaurant on the first date.
There was only piece of information we needed to know.
How did she treat the waiter and/or waitress.
At the slightest hint that she treated them with hostility, abuse or arrogance, the date was over.
Immediately.
Walk away from the table and leave her stranded over.
Re: “...you should marry someone whom you knew as a casual friend before getting serious with them.”
I agree. I don’t remember meeting my husband. He was just part of the jetsam and flotsam of college life. We gradually became friends. We’ve been married 40 years.
For me,it was a blind date. I showed up, knocked on the door, a nice girl answered, and her little dog immediately charged to attack me!
Suddenly the dog stopped, planted it’s butt on the floor, looked up at me with this “HI! I LIKE YOU!” and from that moment on the dog and I were best friends.(It had tried to bite other dates she had)
Not long after, I married the dog’s master, the girl.
We had a great marriage for 48 years when she passed away due to IPF. She was not the prettiest girl in the world, but SHE LOVED ME and I returned the love.
When we were married, I did not just mouth the words of the preacher. I spoke them to her from my heart. Over the years some HOT women came into my life, but I always remembered my vows and never cheated. Never.
My mom told me the secret of a happy marriage. “Keep your wife happy!” I did. In all those years we never had a fight although we had some arguments, but nothing like what my dad and mom went through.
After one of their fights, I, as a young teen, personally swore that if I ever got married I would never treat my family as my dad did ours.
It Worked! If I could, I would marry my little girl all over again. Oh I miss her! We were a perfect couple!