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Murphy's Laws of Combat (mostly applies to infantrymen in Vietnam)
email ^ | unk. | Old Spooks and Spies

Posted on 12/06/2021 11:19:35 AM PST by Signalman

You are not a superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.

If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.

Don't look conspicuous - it draws fire. (This is why aircraft carriers are called bomb magnets.)

When in doubt, empty your magazine.

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.

Field experience is something you get ten minutes after you need it.

The cost of a weapon has a direct correlation with how far you have to send it to get it fixed.

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.

If the enemy has done nothing for the past half hour while you dig in it's probably because they've been in the tree line right behind you the whole time.

If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.

Who cares if a laser guided 500 lb. bomb is accurate to within 9 feet?

Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.

There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

All five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.

Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

In case of mortar and rocket attack hide under the urinal, no one has hit it yet.

If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.

If you are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short.

The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.

You can win without fighting, but it's a lot harder to do. And the enemy may not cooperate.

A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

The important things are always simple; the simple things are always hard.

The easy way is always mined.

The only terrain that is truly controlled is the terrain upon which you're standing.

The law of the bayonet says the man with the bullet wins.

The easy way gets you killed.

When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Friendly fire isn't.

Recoilless rifles - aren't.

Suppressive fire - won't.

If the enemy is in range - SO ARE YOU.

No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

No unit that ever passed inspection has passed combat.

Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.

Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.

Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.

Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.

Anything you do can get you killed - including doing nothing.

Tracers work both ways.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Make it tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.

When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.

Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.

If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.

Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.

Weather ain't neutral.

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is a lieutenant with a map.

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

If you can't see the enemy, he still may be able to see you.

Ammo is cheap, your life isn't.

The only time you can have too much ammo is when you are drowning or you are on fire.

You'll only remember your hand grenades when the sound is too close to use them.

Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

The spare batteries for the PRC-whatever your troops have been carrying are either nearly dead or for the wrong radio.

The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: When you're ready for them. When you're not ready for them.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.

If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.

When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.

Napalm is an area support weapon.

B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.

Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.

Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

The one item you need is always in short supply.

Interchangeable parts aren't.

It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.

The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.

If two things are required to make something work, they will never be shipped together.

Why does your 500-watt VRC-26 (real old) not make it across 200 miles while a ham with 50 watts on the same MARS frequency can be heard from Stateside?

Murphy was a grunt


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: grunt; infantryman
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1 posted on 12/06/2021 11:19:35 AM PST by Signalman
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To: Signalman

ROFL. The best.


2 posted on 12/06/2021 11:24:54 AM PST by MeneMeneTekelUpharsin (Freedom is the freedom to discipline yourself so others don't have to do it for you.)
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To: Signalman
Love it! I was ADA…when we ran out of (Chaparral) missiles, we instantly became infantrymen.

One thing I learned in the Army: never volunteer for anything.

3 posted on 12/06/2021 11:25:59 AM PST by Night Hides Not (Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad! Remember Gonzales! Come and Take It!)
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To: Signalman

Should be on 3 x 5 cards ... vest pocket sized.


4 posted on 12/06/2021 11:27:04 AM PST by _Jim (Save babies)
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To: Signalman

Man those are good.


5 posted on 12/06/2021 11:28:52 AM PST by Steely Tom ([Voter Fraud] == [Civil War])
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To: Night Hides Not

Ah a duckhunter. I taught MILES ADA in the mid ‘80s.


6 posted on 12/06/2021 11:30:19 AM PST by bravo whiskey (Count Rostov "The tyranny of indistinguishable days.")
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To: Signalman
If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.

The shock of 19 yo me in SD with a friend in his 40's that was a retired SEAL...

"They never taught me to be brave or how to be a super soldier. They taught me how be the sneakiest bastard with the most underhanded, devious, and unsuspected ways of delivering a sucker punch, kick in the balls, blindside hit, and nasty surprise better than anyone else. The Marquise d'Queensberry is working the glory hole in the Brass Rail's back room and I hated fair fights -- meant somebody f---d up. I was always partial to a head shot from behind, preferably at 300 mikes. I'm here and in one piece, right?"

7 posted on 12/06/2021 11:32:43 AM PST by L,TOWM (An upraised middle finger is my virtue signal.)
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To: Signalman

I used to know a man who carried the “never volunteer to do anything” into the rest of his civilian life.


8 posted on 12/06/2021 11:33:20 AM PST by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: Signalman

Wow! Good stuff


9 posted on 12/06/2021 11:35:57 AM PST by Jan_Sobieski (Sanctification)
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To: Signalman

“The spare batteries for the PRC-whatever your troops have been carrying are either nearly dead or for the wrong radio.”

Lol. When I was in the Navy I was an electrician. We had these lights called battle lanterns. They were in various places and hooked up to light up if the power failed. They used 2 of those big square 6 volt batteries. The new batteries we got were always almost dead right out of the box. Lol. You might get a weak glow for 10 minutes or so.


10 posted on 12/06/2021 11:44:07 AM PST by Seruzawa ("The Political left is the Garden of Eden of incompetence" - Marx the Smarter (Groucho))
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To: Night Hides Not

Don’t worry, there will always be someone to volunteer you...


11 posted on 12/06/2021 11:45:02 AM PST by Army Air Corps (Four Fried Chickens and a Coke)
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To: Signalman

Not only was Murphy a grunt, he was an optimist.


12 posted on 12/06/2021 11:49:40 AM PST by ThunderSleeps (Biden/Harris - illegitimate and everyone knows it.)
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To: Signalman

Somewhat expanded from those I knew inVietnam but oddly salient


13 posted on 12/06/2021 12:01:51 PM PST by Chainmail (Frater magnus te spectat)
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To: Signalman

They still apply today.


14 posted on 12/06/2021 12:22:13 PM PST by Nathan _in_Arkansas (Hoist the black flag and begin slitting throats. )
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To: Signalman

Sniper’s motto: “Don’t run, you will only die tired”


15 posted on 12/06/2021 12:27:26 PM PST by sima_yi ( Reporting live from the far North)
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To: Army Air Corps

That’s what a wife is for…


16 posted on 12/06/2021 12:32:07 PM PST by Night Hides Not (Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad! Remember Gonzales! Come and Take It!)
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To: Signalman

BTT


17 posted on 12/06/2021 12:32:13 PM PST by BlueLancer (Orchides Forum Trahite - Cordes Et Mentes Veniant)
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To: Signalman
When in doubt, empty your magazine.

Not if you began the three week patrol with 500 rounds, can't get resupply due to ground fire and are down to 120 rounds...

And you are a forward observer field radio operator and "never have to fire your M-16".

And your buddys are asking if you have any ammo left.

"make every shot count!"

"hold 'em & squeeze 'em!

18 posted on 12/06/2021 12:37:34 PM PST by BwanaNdege
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To: Signalman

Good compendium.

5.56mm


19 posted on 12/06/2021 12:40:45 PM PST by M Kehoe (Quid Pro Joe and the Ho need to go.)
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To: Signalman

Awesome! Thanks for the memories!!!!

REMFs don’t get these…..


20 posted on 12/06/2021 1:09:51 PM PST by datura (Luke 21, 1-37)
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