Posted on 11/29/2021 3:05:43 PM PST by rightwingintelligentsia
WAUKESHA, WI—The 2010 Ford Escape crossover SUV that killed six people and injured many others during a Christmas parade last week on its own accord without the input of any human being whatsoever was charged with six counts of murder, sources confirmed over the weekend.
The vehicle was charged with multiple murder counts during a solemn court hearing Friday and was subsequently transferred to the county jail with bail set at a hefty $1,000,000. The charges came after investigators confirmed the SUV acted alone on its own accord without any accomplices.
"Rest assured -- we will hold this dastardly SUV accountable," said a Waukesha prosecutor. "What this vehicle did to those victims is unconscionable. We will be throwing the book at this car to make sure it can never strike again. Justice will be served, and the people of our city will be able to rest easy knowing that this 2010 Ford Escape is behind bars for good."
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
I hope that SUV has a good lawyer. It’s going to need it.
How many human years in one SUV year? Can the 2010 Ford Escape crossover SUV be tried as an adult?
Is it aggravating circumstances that the SUV put a black man in the driver’s seat to deflect blame for its crimes? Can the black man sue the SUV in civil court?
If the SUV acted “on its own accord”, that means there were two vehicles...
“Get the Truck Outta Here!!!”
No one should be making light of these types of horrific events. How would any of us feel if our child or other relative was mowed down by this insane creep?
and Ford is an UN-indighted co-conspirator...
You have the right to remain honkless. Anything you honk can be used against you in court. You have the right to honk to a lawyer for advice before we ask you any questions. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to honk now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop honking at any time.
Do you understand your rights?
Honk once for yes and twice for no.
Let’s see what happens with jury selection. Mercedes, Maserati or Suburbans, F150s. Need to pay attention to car colors too.
Kyle’s bail was $2,000,000. This guy killed 6 people including children. His bail is half of Kyle’s.
SUV: “I’m being framed, man!”
Never mind. It was the bee.
Does Wisconsin have the death penalty?
If so and the suv gets it the execution ought be interesting
This satire is directed at the Washington Post and other leftist propaganda media that refused to place blame squarely on Darrell Brooks, because he is black. Incredibly, their reporting pretended that Brooks's SUV drove itself into the crowd.
Leftists are the ones making light of the event, by deliberately ignoring who was responsible and why, to advance their political agenda.
Was the SUV painted white instead of Black? A good lawyer would get it cleaned up and painted before trial.
We need SUV-control laws. Perhaps we need to treat SUV violence as a public health issue, require a national background check and SUV red flag laws.
I'd probably be pulling for him to make bail. And checking the price of rope at Ace Hardware.
It is biting bitter sarcasm.
>>No one should be making light of these types of horrific events.<<
The Babylon Bee and FReepers are not making light. They’re mocking Leftist media outlets such as the Washington Post and CNN who refuse to name or even mention the mass murderer. Instead, they discuss the SUV, an inanimate object, as the cause of the terrorist rampage.
They are the ones cheapening the lives lost and individuals injured.
Can the victims sue Ford, the SUV manufacterer?
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