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Clever Business Owners Ward Off Looters With Kyle Rittenhouse Scarecrows
The Babylon Bee ^ | November 23rd, 2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/23/2021 8:15:09 PM PST by Trillian

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Small business owners have devised a clever solution to the mostly-peaceful looting problem that has plagued retail stores in the nation’s democrat-run cities.

Standing near a Kyle Rittenhouse scarecrow outside her fifth-generation vintage VCR boutique, Reeba Hastings said, “We’re already seeing positive results from this bad boy. Just yesterday, a flash mob of fifty looters was ready to pilfer my precious vintage VCRs, but one look at this scarecrow and they scattered like politicians from a polygraph machine!”

However, some have pointed out the scarecrow’s downside. One store owner complained that, while scaring off potential looters, they tended to lure unemployed communist Antifa activists from out of their parents' basements and into the streets.

“The commies are perfectly harmless when near the Kyle Rittenhouse scarecrows,” said the store owner, “One of them kept trying to hit the life-size replica of our national hero, but kept missing and punching himself in the face over and over."

The scarecrows also reportedly cause celebrities to lose their minds and froth at the mouth.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; crime; humor; rittenhouse; satire

1 posted on 11/23/2021 8:15:09 PM PST by Trillian
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To: Trillian

Oh, I like this. I always thought BaghdadBob and Looter Guy should’ve been able to cash in on their notoriety. Maybe Kyle can do the same . . . down the road. Not right now. He’s still in the leftys sighs.


2 posted on 11/23/2021 8:18:12 PM PST by BipolarBob (I thought growing old would take longer.)
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To: Trillian

They’ve got some good photo shoppers at the Bee.


3 posted on 11/23/2021 8:18:58 PM PST by xp38
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To: Trillian
"fifth-generation VCR boutique"
4 posted on 11/23/2021 8:25:39 PM PST by Deaf Smith (When a Texan takes his chances, chances will be taken that's for sure.)
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To: Trillian

LOL!!!!!


5 posted on 11/23/2021 8:35:07 PM PST by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith)
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To: Trillian

Bwahahahahahaha! This is hilarious! 😆 😂🤣


6 posted on 11/23/2021 8:37:30 PM PST by Allegra
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To: Trillian

Lol - bit late now, but that would make a great costume !


7 posted on 11/23/2021 8:39:29 PM PST by 11th_VA (Stolen elections have consequences.)
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To: Deaf Smith

It’s right next to the last Blockbuster


8 posted on 11/23/2021 8:42:19 PM PST by cableguymn (We need a redneck in the white house.... But the fact checke rs said theintjey did story was false!)
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To: Trillian

oooh, do they have any vintage Quasar VX format players? I haven’t been able to play those tapes for 40 years.


9 posted on 11/23/2021 8:52:06 PM PST by Dr. Sivana ("There are only men and women."-- George Gilder, Sexual Suicide, 1973)
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To: Trillian

Loved the one with the grenade launcher, ‘cuz according to CNN/MSNBC, Rittenhouse totally had one. Brought Across state lines.


10 posted on 11/23/2021 8:58:23 PM PST by Apparatchik (If you find yourself in a confusing situation, simply laugh knowingly and walk away - Jim Ignatowski)
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To: BipolarBob

I can hear their sighs through their tears.


11 posted on 11/23/2021 9:06:27 PM PST by Fledermaus (I'll wear a mask when Dr. Fraudchi shuts the hell up.)
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To: Trillian

Good one!


12 posted on 11/23/2021 9:58:02 PM PST by aquila48 (Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how they control you. )
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To: Trillian

these guys are hilarous


13 posted on 11/24/2021 12:54:30 AM PST by wafflehouse (RE-ELECT NO ONE !)
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