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Kyle Rittenhouse Asked To Step Outside And Defend The Courthouse While Verdict Is Being Read
Babylon Bee ^ | 11/16/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/16/2021 10:17:26 AM PST by shotgun

KENOSHA, WI—Moments before reading the verdict, the twelve jurors in the trial of Kyle Rittenhouse asked if the defendant would please step outside and defend the courthouse.

“We, the jury will perform our constitutional duty and declare the verdict in this case,” said one sweating juror, “But we, the jury also don’t want to die.”

“Objection, your honor, Rittenhouse does not possess an AR-15 to defend the courthouse; I have the AR-15,” said the prosecutor, swinging the weapon wildly about as onlookers nervously ducked behind benches. “Besides, protestors are heroes, people of upstanding character, and victims.”


TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; banglist; humor; kenosha; kylerittenhouse; rittenhouse; satire
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To: shotgun

The Bee is great... Love it...


21 posted on 11/16/2021 11:24:16 AM PST by Deplorable American1776 (I'm the one trying to save American Democracy...Donald Trump 6/s The Lef21 at the NCGOP conventional)
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To: TribalPrincess2U

Keep up!

Dude I know the Bee (Love some Bee), I don’t always read the source before clicking since a lot of them are blog type or off the beaten path.


22 posted on 11/16/2021 11:34:03 AM PST by BushCountry (Fun Fact: Goods made in America do not get stuck on cargo ships.)
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To: shotgun

This one produced a genuine LOL. Perfect.


23 posted on 11/16/2021 11:35:34 AM PST by TChad (The MSM, having nuked its own credibility, is now bombing the rubble.)
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To: shotgun

This one produced a genuine LOL. Perfect.
I bet Kyle would do it, if the jury asked.


24 posted on 11/16/2021 11:37:16 AM PST by TChad (The MSM, having nuked its own credibility, is now bombing the rubble.)
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To: shotgun

AWESOME


25 posted on 11/16/2021 11:37:24 AM PST by Recovering Ex-hippie (The 2020 election Trump victory determines the fate f America and Freedom.)
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To: shotgun

Well they do have his rifle and bullets in the court room. It would be a practical demonstration on who the criminals were and who was the victim.


26 posted on 11/16/2021 11:37:24 AM PST by dirtymac ( Now Is The Time For All Good Men To ComeTo The Aid Of Their Country! NOW)
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To: BushCountry

I didn’t see it was the Bee at first. Needs satire tag.
_____________________________

They get me most of the time also. It has gotten to where if my blood pressure is rising and I’m starting to shake, it is probably the Bee. Stop, take a breath, and read the source of the article. Damn! it’s the Bee again and I fell for it , AGAIN.


27 posted on 11/16/2021 11:40:07 AM PST by dirtymac ( Now Is The Time For All Good Men To ComeTo The Aid Of Their Country! NOW)
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To: BushCountry

You’re forgiven! BTW I’m a old dudette. :-)


28 posted on 11/16/2021 12:25:38 PM PST by TribalPrincess2U
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To: shotgun

These Bee guys are probably making me more susceptible to COVID because I’m gasping for air and tearing at the eyes!


29 posted on 11/16/2021 12:43:43 PM PST by Theophilus (Coercion Is Not Consent)
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To: shotgun

Too perfect!


30 posted on 11/16/2021 12:48:53 PM PST by Covenantor (We are ruled...by liars who refuse them news, and fools who can not govern. " Chesterton)
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To: Boogieman

Can’t be a straw buyer if Rittenhouse didn’t pay him for it and had a legal right to own an AR-15.


31 posted on 11/16/2021 12:59:11 PM PST by WASCWatch ( WASC)
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To: TribalPrincess2U

True story, I am an IT guy. Ever since the Dell guy started saying, “Dude You’re Getting a Dell” I been calling everyone one Dude no matter the sex. ;^)

Poor dude was arrested for a small amount of pot and blacklisted in the entertainment community. Never to work again. Amazing considering all the sins of Actors nowadays that have been exposed.


32 posted on 11/16/2021 1:05:07 PM PST by BushCountry (Fun Fact: Goods made in America do not get stuck on cargo ships.)
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