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Doctors Announce They Will No Longer Treat Car Accident Victims Who Didn't Wear Their Seat Belt
The Babylon Bee ^ | August 23rd, 2021 | BabylonBee.com

Posted on 08/23/2021 1:27:04 PM PDT by Trillian

U.S.—With hospitals inundated with car accident victims all year round, doctors have announced they are running out of compassion, especially since many of those victims didn't wear their seatbelts.

"Listen—my job isn't just to have compassion and heal everyone who gets wheeled in here," said local surgeon Dr. Kilem. "My job is to make sure these people are living the way I want them to, and then decide who lives or dies based on that. This world has too many people in it anyway. Come to think about it, why did I become a doctor? Oh yeah—money."

Doctors around the country are protesting people who are being brought to them for care, most of whom made questionable life decisions that led to their injury.

"Sex workers? Drug addicts? Bungee-jumpers? Who says they even deserve to live anyway?" said Dr. Kilem. "I'm only a doctor for goodness sake." He then got in his new BMW, put three masks on, and drove off.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire
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1 posted on 08/23/2021 1:27:04 PM PDT by Trillian
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To: Trillian

but how will the docs be able to pay their Mercedes Benz payments then?


2 posted on 08/23/2021 1:29:06 PM PDT by faithhopecharity (Politicians are not born, they are excreted. Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: Trillian

Good comparison, Bee.


3 posted on 08/23/2021 1:29:54 PM PDT by madison10
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To: Trillian

Thanks for the chuckle.


4 posted on 08/23/2021 1:31:03 PM PDT by mombonn (God is looking for spiritual fruit, not religious nuts)
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To: Trillian

Perfect analogy. I love the BB.


5 posted on 08/23/2021 1:31:31 PM PDT by xenia ("In times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act." George Orwell)
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To: madison10

Bee is brilliant.


6 posted on 08/23/2021 1:31:50 PM PDT by gcparent (God Bless America )
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To: Trillian

Don’t give ‘em any ideas.


7 posted on 08/23/2021 1:32:30 PM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: Trillian

I’m old enough to remember when Babylon Bee did satire.


8 posted on 08/23/2021 1:33:04 PM PDT by gitmo (If your theology doesn't become your biography, what good is it?)
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To: Trillian
So he DECIDES WHO LIVES AND DIES based on if they wore a seatbelt?? Sounds like a bunch of nice lawsuits coming for any doctor who REFUSES to help any person who comes into an emergency room injured in an accident. WHAT is his first question, "did he have his seatbelt on?" So, this guy is now playing GOD. HE decides who lives and dies based on a seatbelt.

To be honest, I have been wearing my seatbelt since 1977. I went to Germany and it was mandatory both in civilian vehicles and military vehicles to wear them then. I simply got used to wearing the darn thing and actually feel naked if I don't have it on. We have been hit head on before by a guy who came across the centerline on a small bridge and we had absolutely no where to go. I hit the brakes and we prepared to get crushed. He hit us good. Destroyed the front of my Ford Ranger and injured my wife. I ate the airbag on the steering wheel. Like to have strangled to death on that crap in that bag. So, we have always worn them. But, this guy has no right to decide whom it tries to save or allow to die. He ALLOWS someone to die, he needs to be charged with allowing that person to die, and lose his license to "practice" medicine.

9 posted on 08/23/2021 1:36:20 PM PDT by RetiredArmy (Free Will. GOD gives you the choice I accept or reject Him! Choose Him. It depends on you.)
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To: RetiredArmy

Pssst … the Babylon Bee is satire…


10 posted on 08/23/2021 1:37:47 PM PDT by texas booster (Join FreeRepublic's Folding@Home team (Team # 36120) Cure Alzheimer's!)
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To: Trillian
"And if you ate at the Cheesecake Factory last night, don't be dragging your fat arse in here after your heart attack looking for treatment or sympathy from me because I won't care and I won't be here - I've got a 2PM tee time and I'm going to make it. Hippocratic Oath be damned!


11 posted on 08/23/2021 1:40:39 PM PDT by SamAdams76 (Give me a Pigfoot and a Bottle of Beer)
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To: texas booster
Pssst … the Babylon Bee is satire…

Its fun to see folks get caught. I know I responded in a similar manner early on. This is why I don't like adding a satire warning to the title!

12 posted on 08/23/2021 1:48:13 PM PDT by FatherofFive (We support Trump. Not the GOP)
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To: Trillian

RE: Not wearing a seat belt.

Well what if I pull a Fauxi and say ‘The benefits outweigh the risks’?


13 posted on 08/23/2021 1:50:43 PM PDT by Pollard
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To: Trillian
While in the real world:

GM ‘Buckle to Drive’ Seatbelt Requirement Coming to 2022 SUVs, Full-Size Trucks

The standard feature will prevent the transmission from shifting out of Park unless the driver’s seatbelt is buckled.


14 posted on 08/23/2021 1:55:30 PM PDT by Yo-Yo (is the /sarc tag really necessary?)
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To: FatherofFive
said,"the Babylon Bee is satire…
Its fun to see folks get caught.


Memes and satire will not be permitted!!
15 posted on 08/23/2021 1:56:20 PM PDT by Steve Van Doorn (*in my best Eric Cartman voice* 'I love you, guys')
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To: FatherofFive

“This is why I don’t like adding a satire warning to the title!”

Yeah, kinda ruins the fun, right.
The BB runs great stories that are lightly grounded in truth, somewhere, and sounds just factual enough to snag the unwary.

I finally learned to check the source before reading. :/)


16 posted on 08/23/2021 1:58:28 PM PDT by oldvirginian (I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.)
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To: Trillian

Goes for training wheels on kids bikes as well.


17 posted on 08/23/2021 2:04:14 PM PDT by Track9 (Liberalism is a far worse virus. )
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To: Trillian

Hardly satire…..


18 posted on 08/23/2021 2:14:31 PM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith…. )
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To: Trillian

Terrific, again.


19 posted on 08/23/2021 2:16:06 PM PDT by SaxxonWoods ( comment might be sarcasm, or not. It depends. Often I'm not sure either.)
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To: RetiredArmy

It’s the 🐝


20 posted on 08/23/2021 2:27:05 PM PDT by P-Marlowe (I identify as fully vaccinated. )
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