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American Women's Soccer Team Defeated After Opponents Play U.S. National Anthem During Game Forcing Them To Kneel The Whole Time
The Babylon Bee ^
| July 27, 2021
| The Babylon Bee
Posted on 07/28/2021 3:41:50 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
TOKYO—The U.S. Women’s Soccer Team's Olympic hopes are once again in jeopardy after opponents came up with a clever way to defeat them: playing the U.S. national anthem during every game so that the women have to kneel the entire time.
It's a move many are calling the "greatest 4D chess move of all time." Some are even saying it's the most important strategy developed in soccer since the kick was invented. Many are hopeful it will even get Americans interested in watching soccer again.
"It's a genius strategy," said one commentator as a singer on the sidelines began singing, "O say can you see, by the dawn's early light" over the stadium's sound system. Megan Rapinoe was going to intercept a pass but dutifully took a knee and was forced to turn over the ball to the other team, or however it is that soccer works. "Beautiful play there! It's going to be tough to see the U.S. women recover from this one!"
"Oooh, and now the singer is going hard into the 'home of the brave' stanza, really forcing the U.S. women to stay kneeling. "Wicked brilliant!" (We are told "wicked brilliant" means "cool" or "dope" in British.)
At the end of their first match in which the opposing team employed this tactic, the women lost 27-1, having scored one goal when Rapinoe stood up briefly when the singer ran out of breath.
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Humor; Miscellaneous; Outdoors; Society; Sports
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; japan; kneeling; loss; nationalanthem; olympics; tokyo; womenssoccer
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
2
posted on
07/28/2021 3:47:12 PM PDT
by
Rennes Templar
(Come back, President Trump.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
3
posted on
07/28/2021 3:48:32 PM PDT
by
markman46
(engage brain before using keyboard!!!)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Sweet!! Thanks for a good laugh!!
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
The article had me at first, until I saw it was the Bee.
5
posted on
07/28/2021 3:49:46 PM PDT
by
EvilCapitalist
(Pets are no substitute for children.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
6
posted on
07/28/2021 3:49:52 PM PDT
by
Pajamajan
( PRAY FOR OUR NATION. I will never be a peaceful slave in a somehow new Socialist America.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
It was noted that Coach Spock of the opposing Team was credited for coming up with the Game Winning strategy.
7
posted on
07/28/2021 3:52:24 PM PDT
by
Kickass Conservative
(Ashli Babbitt was unavailable for comment.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Remember this strategy when the civil war 2.0 begins.
8
posted on
07/28/2021 3:52:26 PM PDT
by
Leep
(Save America. Lock down Joe Biden!)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
9
posted on
07/28/2021 4:02:07 PM PDT
by
SaxxonWoods
( comment might be sarcasm, or not. It depends. Often I'm not sure either.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
10
posted on
07/28/2021 4:15:04 PM PDT
by
Exit148
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
The Bee wins the gold medal for Olympic humor!
11
posted on
07/28/2021 4:21:50 PM PDT
by
dynachrome
("I will not be reconstructed, and I do not give a damn.")
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
12
posted on
07/28/2021 4:40:38 PM PDT
by
Secret Agent Man
(Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
These guys and gals (don’t want to be sexist here) are the funniest consistently on the Net.
13
posted on
07/28/2021 4:43:20 PM PDT
by
Seruzawa
(The political Left is the Garden of Eden of Incompetence - Marx the Smarter (Groucho))
Not fair getting my hopes up l
14
posted on
07/28/2021 4:45:48 PM PDT
by
dsrtsage
( Complexity is just simple lacking imagination)
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Damn bummer. Great piece by the Bee but I was all excited reading the first part of the sentence and thought they had actually lost.
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
16
posted on
07/28/2021 5:25:27 PM PDT
by
Rusty0604
(" When you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat." -Ronald Reagan)
17
posted on
07/28/2021 5:25:28 PM PDT
by
TnTnTn
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
18
posted on
07/28/2021 6:25:31 PM PDT
by
aquila48
(Do not let them make you care! Guilting you is how they control you. )
To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Thanks for a good laugh!
Wish it were true that these screaming harridans had lost.
19
posted on
07/28/2021 8:07:22 PM PDT
by
miserare
( Respect for life--life of all kinds-- is the first principle of civilization.~~A. Schweitzer.)
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