Posted on 07/04/2021 9:40:50 AM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin
Happy 4th of July! Our benevolent and wise King Joe Biden has mercifully granted us loyal subjects a generous $0.16 savings on our cookout expenses this year. Wow! Thanks Biden! You may be having a hard time deciding where to spend your newfound wealth, but we're here to help!
Here are 10 great ways to spend your 16 cents:
1) Go ahead and splurge on that extra packet of ketchup: You've probably never experienced the pure decadence of applying extra ketchup to your fries. Here's your chance! Only one extra packet per guest though-- let's not go crazy here.
2) Apply it toward a down payment for getting the hole in your old leather shoe repaired: With only 499 more payments of $0.16, you'll finally get that pesky hole fixed! All thanks to our president!
3) Go back in time to 1906 and treat yourself to 16 pieces of penny candy at the general store: You haven't lived until you've experienced the childlike joy of penny candy from a century-old general store. We heard they even put opium and stuff in their candy back then. Nice.
4) You can finally round up that coffee order to help the children's hospital: Imagine how many lives you'll save.
5) Buy .00000045 of one Bitcoin: Start that retirement nest egg now! By the time you retire, maybe you'll have enough to buy 16 pieces of candy at a modern candy store!
6) Buy a second paper mask just to be safe: Actually, $0.16 won't be enough to buy a new mask. Maybe you can buy a used mask from a homeless guy. Protect yourself from the Delta variant!
7) Tell the wife to go into town and get herself something nice: You'll be husband of the year! Just make sure she doesn't go to Aldi. The carts cost $.25 so she won't get very far.
8) Put a single drop of gas in the tank: Then go on a trip to the end of your driveway!
9) Donate it to the Democrat Party to thank them for looking out for you: If you want to keep seeing great savings like this, you'll have to make sure Democrats keep getting elected.
10) Send it to the government to help pay down the national debt: Chip away at that pesky national debt-- that grew by $2 billion while you were reading this sentence.
Go forth and spend wisely, you lucky dog, you!
Read the article, thought this is straight stuff that only the most honest journalistic outfit in the country could produce. Must be the Bee. Then I looked and it was.
One of my friends is treating herself to 1/4 of a doughnut from Dunkin’s. ;)
I’ll give this sixteen cents to my neighbor Steve so he can give me his “two cents” on 8 different topics.
Send it to the White House as a down payment for Joe’s dementia treatment.
It used to be "Brother, can you spare a dime?"
It's gone up six cents since then.
-PJ
Not quite enough for an extra slice of cheese we saw in that sumptuous “traditional” barbecue spread they showed us, but I bet you could get an extra squirt of Velveeta. Praise Dear Leader!
Send a check for $0.16 to Diaper Joe. He’ll spend $20 trying to get more $$$ from you.
I think I’ll donate the $.16 to the RNC with my thanks...
on second thought, naaaaaaaaa `too good for them!
LOL!
“According to The Minister of Plenty, Velveeta Rations will increase from 30 grams to 20 grams, today! Happy Fourth, Everyone!”
Visiting my mom in the Asheville area. I just got back from grocery shopping at Ingles & I could get 2-3 yogurt covered raisins. Yummy, thanks Joe😐
“Put a single drop of gas in the tank: Then go on a trip to the end of your driveway!”
Oh, it’s better than that. Local gas here is $3.44 a gallon.
That’s .0465 gallons, and at 20 mpg that will take my truck
.93 miles.
If it’s already rolling.
I remember when "dollars to doughnuts" was a description of a low-odds bet like Secretariat in the Belmont. Now it is just about even odds and if Slow Joe keeps up with the trillion dollar handouts it will be a extremely high odds bet where if you put up a mere dollar and got a whole doughnut you really won the lottery.
I ordered a thirteenth of a cup of coffee at Dunkin, but they wouldn’t give it to me unless I provided my own cup. So I declined.
I asked for extra ketchup at the local burger joint, and that came to 20 cents, but it really only cost me 4 cents, so I don’t feel so bad.
Yes, this is a Babyling Bouillon parody. But ElBiden administration DID release a press release “proudly proclaiming that price of ketchup, mustard, and pickle relish went down from last year.
Of course, NONE of their massed media parrots repeating the story reported that the price of meat went up from 8.50 a pound to about 16.00 to 22.00 a pound!
We saw what you did there!
But I suppose his team has already figured out how they can jiggle the statistics in future years to make it look like what everyone knows is happening isn't happening.
The hot dogs and buns will just get smaller and smaller.
My bbq is brisket. I paid around $42 last year. It was $67 this year for the same size flat. The white house message is nothing but false propaganda.
Just finishing my brisket. 18 hours on my smoker. Our local Kroger had brisket on sale for $2.99 a pound.
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