Posted on 05/17/2021 3:59:36 PM PDT by Jacob Kell
YAVIN—Known rebel and terrorist Luke Skywalker has been condemned by the Imperial Press Corps for blowing up an Associated Press office located on the Death Star.
"Mr. Skywalker barely gave us an hour's notice to evacuate," said AP reporter Bryn Stellar. "It's clear that the Rebellion wants to eliminate journalists and hamper our ability to tell the story of their terror to the galaxy. We were just minding our own business reporting on their nefarious activity from our offices on the 64th level of the Empire's new space station when we got the warning."
"Shocking and appalling."
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
The AP is shocked - SHOCKED, I tell you - to learn that there were Imperial assets aboard the Death Star.
:O shocked I am!
Why do you think Moff Gideon was pooping in his armor when Luke’s X-Wing and green lightsabre showed on the viewscreens.
The Skywalker family is one of the biggest mass murdering clans in the entire Star Wars universe.
Women, younglings and minorities hit hardest
‘From Coruscant to Tatooine, the Empire will be free,”
Darth Vader appeals to UN for another Resolution condemning Israel. Shows heartbreaking videos of the children’s hospital and kittens that were destroyed.
Democrats 2021
This is what you get when the Imperials believe THEY are the rebels.
I suspect the Empires super death ship was just collateral damage from destroying the more dangerous target AP bureau.
Hilarious. The Bee sometimes hits perfectly.
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