Posted on 05/16/2021 7:34:15 AM PDT by george76
The CDC has updated its guidelines and announced that you no longer have to wear a life jacket outside in case of rain. The guidelines had been put in place last year during a particularly rainy March, and although many experts had claimed we would just have to wear the life jackets for a couple of weeks, mandates remained in place for well over a year.
But now, even hardcore pro-life jacket agencies like the CDC have admitted it is time to take the life jackets off and go about our lives.
"Look, unfortunately, the rainy season is just about over," said CDC Director Rochelle Walensky. "We had hoped it would last forever, but even we must admit, you no longer have to put a life jacket on when going outside." However, the updated rule only applies to people who have taken swimming lessons at an approved swim lesson site. Still, many say this is progress over the strict and sometimes anti-science position taken by the CDC throughout the flood season.
"But we will still remain vigilant, and life jackets may become a seasonal thing worn every October through April to stay safe."
Despite the updated guidelines, many liberals announced they would continue to wear life jackets until the chance of drowning in a sudden freak flash flood hit 0%.
"This is way too soon," said Krissy Mackinaw of Austin, Texas as she watched people walk by without life jackets. "Look at these anti-science neanderthals walking around!" Her state of Texas removed the life jacket mandate several months ago, causing many experts to predict there would be a massive spike in drownings, but none of those predictions of doom came true. "You're all going to die!" she screamed at passersby as she put a snorkel on.
Satire does have a way of summing things up far more effectively than polemics and invective. A retired pharmacist friend of mine tried last year to convince me of the effectiveness of masks in preventing exposure to Covid by sending me a photo of masked surgeons working over patient in an operating theater. Didn’t bother to reply since but thought to myself “Yeah, if I was standing over an opened steaming torso of a diseased person I’d be wearing a mask too”. Walking around the aisles of my local five and dime?
Even so. I am still going to wear my life jacket in the shower. Can’t take chances now can we?
Actually the simple paper surgical surgical team wears is to prevent any extra infection to the patient. After all, IF THEY HAVE THEIR INARDS EXPOSED, they are very vulnerable to it!
The shields are more for the protection of the medical staff, as you indicated from blood and any junk flying at them.
The thing is we do not have large wounds walking around in public from which to get sepsis. That is what skin is for.
Singing in the rain, just singing in the rain, got a glorious feeling with my .. life jacket on again...
I instantly thought of Marty McFly.
The CDC decrees you no longer need to wear a parachute when stepping over cracks in your driveway.
Some people will never give up their life jacket ,LOL
who dat?
Those with no life jackets are sitting ducks for the coming humiliation and intimidation by the Anti Drowning morally superior tribes.
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If some reckless people want to risk their lives like that then that’s their choice, but there’s no way I’m going to stop wearing my motorcycle helmet when driving my car. I don’t care what the CDC says.
Floaties are acceptable - but only if you pull them up over your nose.
Liberal true believers like Rachel Maddow feel betrayed..
Golf is back here in the “Great Fake State” and I suddenly feel it essential that I wear a helmet whenever I play. Think of the worst case scenario!...Golf balls flying all over the place...and if you catch a low liner in the noggin you’re at least going to the Emergency Room. Wearing a helmet on the golf course is the only way to be safe. In fact, I think I’ll write a letter to Gov. Whitmer about this issue. Maybe she will insist that all public and private courses provide sanitary helmets in all sizes for all players and participants, much like a pair of bowling shoes issued by your bowling establishment. This could include employees, but only up to certain supervisory and management levels...Oh boy, this is great!...Somebody stop me! /s
Who dat say who dat?
We do have large gaping @$$#0<&$ walking around in public. Many of them holding high public office. And masks don't really work against them.
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