Posted on 04/27/2021 5:11:30 PM PDT by BipolarBob
We here at The Babylon Bee are marriage experts. Being considerate and helping your wife around the house is key to a healthy marriage-- and it doesn't even have to be hard work! We drew from decades of combined marriage experience to compile a list of easy ways to help your wife out.
1. Rinse a dish and leave it near the sink: Your lady will swoon when she sees how considerate you are! For bonus points, place the dish in the sink so she can easily put it in the dishwasher later.
2. Place excess trash in an organized pile near the trash can until she takes it out: Little things to make her life easier go such a long way!
3. Avoid the toilet seat debate by peeing in the sink: Lifehack!
4. Never shower so she'll have fewer towels to fold: Also, if you never wear socks, you'll never get in trouble for not throwing them in the hamper.
5. Helpfully gather all the dirty clothes and passive-aggressively place them in front of the washer: Whatever you do, DON'T actually put them in the washer. You'll probably do it wrong.
6. Leave her helpful instructions on sticky notes around the house so she'll know how to do things properly: You can add little hearts and "XOXOXO" for extra romance.
7. Say helpful phrases like "My mom didn't do it that way" when she's cleaning: Wives love to learn new things from their mothers-in-law. What a great way to pass down helpful knowledge!
8. Send her pictures of the messes around the house while she's away so she can mentally prepare for the tasks ahead of her: This selfless act will help her stay mentally organized. It's the least you can do.
9. Start the lawnmower for her: Use your big man strength to start the mower so she has more energy to mow the lawn. If you really want to drive her crazy, roll up your sleeves so she sees your big arms while you crank the engine.
10. Pick up your feet while playing Xbox so she can vacuum under them: Invest in your marriage and do it without being asked!
11. Place all the sandwich ingredients together on the counter to cut down on her lunch-making time: For extra helpfulness, leave another sticky note to help her make it correctly.
12. Have many children so they can help around the house: And if you're a Mormon, you can also take a second wife to help your first wife with the chores!
There you have it! Now go and invest in your marriage!
13. Dont get married in the first place.
Who are you going to make alimony payments to if you’re mot married? You’re going to be stuck with a lot of disposable income otherwise. Don’t say i didn’t warn you.
It is helpful to go out with the guys so you are never in her way as she does household chores. That’s very considerate.
:)
My husband is OCD and puts in maximum effort to help around the house. So much it makes me nervous sometimes.
Instead of getting married, just find a woman who hates you and buy her a house.
Mrs. L hasn’t done more than 2 loads of laundry in the last year.
L
Wait. When did The Bee stop doing satire and start doing serious advice columns?
Cook me up some bacon and some beans
Go out to the car and change the tire
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans
Come on baby you can fill my pipe
And go fetch my slippers
And boil me up another pot of tea
Then put another log on the fire, babe
And come and tell me why you're leaving me."
*Tomball Glaser
Mrs. L hasn’t done more than 2 loads of laundry in the last year.
*************
Was you sick or disposed at that time?
15. Quit going to church with her so that she sees you as someone who's already spiritually healthy 100%.
16. Tell the kids how smart your wife is by insisting that she be the one to help them study for their math test.
17. Let her know you respect her as one of the guys by laughing while she's backing up the car.
You save a ton of money and don’t feel bad when you go out for beer with the guys.
***Don,t get married in the first place.***
Depends on the girl. I just had 49 years of a wonderful marriage to my wife who died in August of last year.
I look back, and I would do it all over again.
As my mom told me when I got married...”IF you want a happy marriage, keep your wife happy!” It worked!
I’m soooooo....
Using this
Several of my ancestor families homesteaded in Saskatchewan, Alberta, and North Dakota starting in the 1860s. Those women would have thought those were light workloads. They would have loved to have had that little bit of work to do.
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