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Georgia SOS BRAD RAFFENSPERGER Explains The Missing 5.6 Million Missing Zuckerbucks (Satire)
4/20/21 | RetiredTexasVet

Posted on 04/20/2021 5:46:24 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet

Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger held a news conference to explain the missing 5.6 million missing Zuckerbucks. Brad explained that the 5.6 million was not missing but just lost.

Brad explained that when he received the check from Zuck, he went down to BOA and cashed it with the approval from Gov. Kemp. Brad took the garbage bag of cash back to his office and started to use it to support the Ga. election.

Brad can account for approximately $500,000 expended to support the election by buying Girl Scout cookies and pizza for election employees plus thousands of books of stamps for mail in ballots (voters didn't know how to use prepaid envelopes and it was easier to buy and put the stamps on the ballot envelopes than try to explain it).

After receiving several complaints that the money might be dirty (infected with COVID 19 viruses), Brad contacted Goldman Sucks & JP Morgan Chase and asked how and where to clean the money. They suggested that he have the money laundered by HSBC. They gave HSBC rave reviews and let Brad know that they laundered their money and the money of their clients through that bank.

Brad took his garbage bag of money to HSBC and asked that they launder it for him. They said they would return clean laundered money in 3 - 5 business days. When Brad hadn't heard from them in a week, he called and was told that the money got lost or destroyed in the laundering process. Since Brad had signed the bank's no fault agreement, he had no recourse. The bank did give Brad a Chit-man memorandum explaining the circumstances which he could present to the Zuck to explain the loss of the funds he could not document as being spent on election matters.

Brad explained the loss to the Zuck and that he was only an engineer and not wise to the ways of financial institutions. Zuck said it was only petty cash and all was forgiven.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor
KEYWORDS: sarcasm; satire; scorn

1 posted on 04/20/2021 5:46:24 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Shouldn’t have mentioned that bit about the pizza. It’s a code word, you know.


2 posted on 04/20/2021 6:21:01 PM PDT by Rocky
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To: RetiredTexasVet

How much of it went to his mistress in S. America?


3 posted on 04/20/2021 6:27:28 PM PDT by Fai Mao (It is time, past time and almost too late.)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

And Mrs. DeBlasio lost more than $8 million of government funds.


4 posted on 04/20/2021 7:03:09 PM PDT by ryderann
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Just lost.....into his wifes bank account in the Caymen Islands.


5 posted on 04/20/2021 7:03:51 PM PDT by The MAGA-Deplorian (Democrats are lawless because Republicans are ball-less)
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