Posted on 04/09/2021 2:14:01 AM PDT by Trillian
WASHINGTON, D.C.—As COVID numbers have begun to decline and it appears the pandemic is over, Dr. Fauci desperately resorted to his last option: to consume an entire sack of bats in hopes that the coronavirus will spread once again.
"The concerning decline in COVID cases has left me with no choice," Dr. Fauci said solemnly as he held open a sack of bats imported from Wuhan. "Release the bats!"
His assistant carefully opened the sack, and Fauci pounced. "Get over here, you little rascals!" he shouted as he ran around the room trying to snag as many of them as he could. "I'm gonna getchya, and I'm gonna eat ya up! Ol' Dr. Fauci is quick! You can't outrun me, ya little weasels!"
Finally, he caught his first bat, put a little Sriracha on it, and gobbled it up before running around the room and catching the rest of the bats and eating all 17 of them in short order.
"Mmmm... delicious," he said as he licked his lips. "They're a little bitter, but it's worth it knowing I'm doing my part to extend this pandemic as much as possible. Can you imagine if things were back to normal? I wouldn't get to be on TV all the time!"
At publishing time, Fauci was seen at a local Walmart licking all the doorknobs.
Lordy how I love The Bee
Can you imagine if things were back to normal? I wouldn’t get to be on TV all the time!”
—
Pretty much sums up the attention whore.
The Bee is now making videos. The one I saw was a parody of Sesame Street. A new puppet named Todd, who is all white, takes the blame for everything. The acting is awful but it was still funnier than SNL ever was.
I ❤ the Bee!!
Then Ozzy showed up and knocked him out.
ROTFL - Even the title by itself is hilarious.
Yeah, but did he do it in under 8 minutes?
That’s the record.
It was set by Bill Fahrfignugen back in 1987.
And he didn’t need to ladle on sirchacha to do it.
He must have had a step ladder.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.