Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

The Proper Way to Call a Golfer a B**tard ...
email from friend | 02/15/2021 | unknown

Posted on 02/15/2021 1:53:32 PM PST by sodpoodle

T A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.

They were even after the first two holes. The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?"

The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.

The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease. As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00. He then confessed that he was the pro at the neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.

The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.

The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money.

The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."

The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation of $80. And, if you want to, bring your Mother and Father along, I'll marry them."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: holy
Smile!
1 posted on 02/15/2021 1:53:32 PM PST by sodpoodle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

😀


2 posted on 02/15/2021 1:56:10 PM PST by Oldeconomybuyer (The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

:)


3 posted on 02/15/2021 1:56:23 PM PST by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

Love it!


4 posted on 02/15/2021 2:02:18 PM PST by rlmorel ("I’d rather enjoy a risky freedom than a safe servitude." Robby Dinero, USMC Veteran, Gym Owner)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

Three nuns die in a car accident

They meet st peter at the gates

He says, “you have to answer one question before being let into heaven.”

He asks the first nun, “who was the first man?” She replies “adam”, and st peter says, “well done, enter into the joy of heaven.”

He asks the second nun, “who was the first woman?” She replies “eve” and st peter says, “well done, enter into the joy of heaven.”

Now the third nun was a mother superior. St peter says to her, “your question will be a little harder, given your position.” He asks her, “what was the first thing eve said when she saw adam?”

The mother superior got a puzzled look on her face, furrowed her brow, scratched her head, and muttered “my thats a hard one”...

St peter said, “well done, enter the joy of heaven.”


5 posted on 02/15/2021 2:03:39 PM PST by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

Diplomacy. . . .


6 posted on 02/15/2021 2:05:01 PM PST by RatRipper ( Democrats and socialists are vile liars, thieves and murderers - enemies of good and America.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

With a Scottish accent of course.


7 posted on 02/15/2021 2:05:57 PM PST by Pollard (Bunch of curmudgeons)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Secret Agent Man

naughty;)


8 posted on 02/15/2021 2:06:24 PM PST by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Secret Agent Man

I’ve always liked that joke. Ever since I first heard it on The Vicar of Dibley. Remember that show?


9 posted on 02/15/2021 2:22:45 PM PST by Responsibility2nd (Trump is a deposed Pres. in exile. America is truly a banana republic. Our govt. has been overthrown)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

OMG that’s hilarious!!!!


10 posted on 02/15/2021 2:24:44 PM PST by Vendome (I've Gotta Be Me https://youtu.be/wH-pk2vZG2M)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Secret Agent Man

Secret Agent Man wrote: “The mother superior got a puzzled look on her face, furrowed her brow, scratched her head, and muttered “my thats a hard one”...”

Or, this one: What’s the first thing Adam said to Eve? You better stand back, I don’t know how big this thing will get.


11 posted on 02/15/2021 3:09:46 PM PST by DugwayDuke (Most prefer experts who only say things they agree with.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

For golf jokes, I was always fond of this one:

Two guys were playing golf. After finishing a par 4 hole the one keeping score said “I made bogey”, and asked the other what he scored. The other guy said “I got a ten.” The scorekeeper told him that they play winter rules and said @You can improve your lie.” The other guy said, “Oh I didn’t know that. In that case, I got an 8.”


12 posted on 02/15/2021 3:21:54 PM PST by stremba
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

😆


13 posted on 02/15/2021 3:58:55 PM PST by sauropod (#ImpeachMcConnell. #Resist. #NotMyPresident.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Secret Agent Man

She should have said, “African or European swallow?”


14 posted on 02/15/2021 4:06:22 PM PST by Defiant (Worst traitor in American history: Penceadick Arnold)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

LOL


15 posted on 02/15/2021 7:13:24 PM PST by Irish Eyes
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson