Posted on 01/30/2021 8:43:23 AM PST by BipolarBob
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Sources at the Capitol confirmed today that a significant brouhaha broke out between Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Senator Ted Cruz.
The incident occurred as Ocasio-Cortez was walking out of the Capitol Building and passed by Cruz, who smiled and shot her a set of cool-guy finger guns. "Howdy, AOC! How's my favorite socialist rep? Haha, just playin' with ya, kid."
"Help! I've been shot in a violent attack!" she screamed as Ted Cruz gave her the customary Texas greeting of finger guns. She flopped to the ground and began going into convulsions. "The violence! The horror! He's trying to have me murdered! ATTEMPTED MURDER! I AM IN NO WAY EXAGGERATING THIS SITUATION FOR ATTENTION!"
"COME AND SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM!" Ocasio-Cortez then exploded a ketchup packet she keeps on hand for these occasions, screaming, "THE BLOOD! SO MUCH BLOOD! GOODBYE, CRUEL WORLD FILLED WITH COUNTLESS SYSTEMIC OPPRESSIONS!"
Capitol security rushed over and caught Cruz red-handed holding the finger guns. After a brief struggle and lots of sawing, they were able to disarm him. Ocasio-Cortez then popped up and walked into the building, whistling John Lennon's "Imagine."
At publishing time, Mitch McConnell had held the door open for Ocasio-Cortez, prompting her to scream that she was being sexually assaulted.
Cue Sonny and Cher
Don’t laugh a lady was arrested up for exchanging Texas tech guns up finger salute on an airplane.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxu7xLp4pnY&feature=emb_rel_end
Monty Python “The Holy Grail”
“COME AND SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM!”
She has nice teeth....they're really big and perfect for her mouth.
It’s getting real hard these days to know whether this is satire or hard reporting.
The Bee got me 2 days in a row!
Thx for not labeling it satire in the title. Makes it more fun!
Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
That line has been my tagline for 15 years on FR.
She clutches her ample bosom
Her only redeeming quality...
“I got you Babe”?
My easy rule of thumb is nothing is reporting.
It’s not that ample :)
My easy rule of thumb is going to be nothing is satire.
Bang Bang My Baby Shot Me Down
It’s a sad commentary on our world when satire is so close to reality.
Good going BB.
OK, that I would watch.
This article actually sounds more rationale than the things AOC actually says in real life.
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