Kamala Harris Recalls How As A Little Girl She Helped Slaves Escape On The Undewgwound Wailwoad

Babylon Bee ^ | 1/5/2020 | Babylon Bee

[mmichaels1970]

U.S.—Kamala Harris chuckles as she tells the story. Not the chuckle of an insincere politician making up a story to appeal to her base, but the chuckle of a warm, loving woman. The kind of chuckle you would chuckle while hanging out with your family or locking up non-violent drug offenders for decades.

She recalled in her interview with The Babylon Bee how as a little girl she helped slaves escape to the North on the "undewgwound wailwoad." (Did we mention how warm and sincere she was? It was like talking to your best bud).

"My parents were pushing me in a stroller," she says, cackling -- no, chuckling -- "and I must have gotten loose somehow." (At the time, there weren't any safety regulations on strollers, so this is not her parents' fault, just to be clear). "Anyway, I wandered away down to the Deep South and began helping slaves get to the free states. When my parents found me years later, they were understandably upset. They said, 'Kamala! What are you doing!?'"

She chuckled again.

"I replied, 'I'm hewping swaves escape on da undewground wailwoad, mommy!'" Harris then revealed that one of the slaves she helped escape grew up to be none other than Albert Einstein.

Harris, with her likable laugh and authentic demeanor, went on to tell the story of how she helped "Abwaham Winkon" draft the "Emancipation Pwocwamation" and how she refused to give up her seat on a bus, launching the "Civil wights" movement.

[Governor Dinwiddie]

Harris is a slut. She is a phony like "Spartacus". Both she and Spartacus grew up in privileged households in white communities. She doesn't know anything about Jim Crow. She, Spartacus, and Kaepernick should form the Privileged Negro Club.

[Deplorable American1776]

The Bee is funny... Love the article

[Huskrrrr]

This a high water mark for the Bee.

[mmichaels1970]

This a high water mark for the Bee.

Agreed. I try to get some work done and my wife continually texts me Bee links....lol.

[ponygirl]

And she sang, “Fowwow the dwinking gouwd...”

[equaviator]

Watch and listen to her listening to herself when she speaks on record. She’s a lot like Obama in that regard. They’re both so self-aware that it sets up a barrier between them and their audience(s), however unwittingly.

[Joe Boucher]

Imagine, a known and proven WHORE lies?
Who knew?

[Old Yeller]

Kamala Harris recalled as a young girl that she scwewed a 60-something, married man to get her start in a lifetime of politics so that she could ultimately scwew a whole country.

[Liz]

"We won by 81 million votes---I got more votes than Obama."

[SharpRightTurn]

Devastatingly hilarious.

So rich, I’m cackling.

[Texas Eagle]

To be honest, MLK's story sounds like a load of scheisse, too.

But at least it was original scheisse, not regurgitated scheisse.

[mmichaels1970]

To be honest, MLK's story sounds like a load of scheisse, too.

Agreed. And initially published in Playboy? Gimme a break.

[Tennessee Nana]

Kamala Harris Recalls How As A Little Girl She Arrived in Virginia in 1619 in Chains...

[ProtectOurFreedom]

That is fweaking hilarious!

[Fiddlstix]

[Vaduz]

LOL

[Jamestown1630]

All of this blatant, pandering lying began in earnest with the Clintons.

Like that grifter couple, this Harris person believes that her public is as poorly read as she is, and so ignorant that they won’t see through this.

It would be hilarious if it were not so frightening. This mental featherweight could well wind up with the nuclear codes.

Congratulations, Liberal America. You’ve won the Stupid Prize.

[Liz]

Nice take.

[Fiddlstix]

WELL SAID!