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Pelosi Announces Every $600 Check Will Come With Free Slice Of Cake
Babylon Bee ^ | 12/22/2020 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 12/22/2020 7:50:56 AM PST by BipolarBob

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Nancy Pelosi has announced that every $600 stimulus check will come with a free slice of cake for Americans to eat.

She made the announcement in a speech yesterday after the stimulus bill was criticized for not doing enough for the middle class. The amendment to the $900 billion stimulus bill, coupled with the reasonable $2.3 trillion spending bill for the federal government, means that in addition to getting $600 created out of thin air, each American will get a slice of chocolate cake.

"Americans have been suffering, so we need to let them eat cake," she said in front of Congress yesterday. "We closed down their businesses for the past nine months, so it's the least we can do. Really. I do mean that. The least."

Congress considered ice cream for every America, but Pelosi vetoed it as it was too expensive to give every American a $13 quart of the brand she eats. There was also talk of giving the option of vanilla cake, but that was shot down as being racist.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Food; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; pelosi
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This is a huge disappointment for those who prefer pie.
1 posted on 12/22/2020 7:50:56 AM PST by BipolarBob
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To: BipolarBob

Epic Bee

Epic.


2 posted on 12/22/2020 7:52:32 AM PST by Swiffer_Ralf (Orig. Eureka_Lead)
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To: BipolarBob

3 posted on 12/22/2020 7:53:18 AM PST by nascarnation
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To: BipolarBob

Hey, I want the $100/gallon ice cream!


4 posted on 12/22/2020 7:53:27 AM PST by Aevery_Freeman (I voted...but it doesn't matter.)
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To: BipolarBob

I would have preferred $1200 for every adult and “O” for dependents....because the dependents have no bills to pay.


5 posted on 12/22/2020 7:54:02 AM PST by Sacajaweau
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To: Aevery_Freeman

I was hoping for a $5 off coupon for Subway.

Maybe we need to run off to Pakistan and get in line for the $10 million for transgender training that they put in the pot for those folks.


6 posted on 12/22/2020 7:55:19 AM PST by pepsionice
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To: BipolarBob

As long as it has lots of tryptophan for those in Rio Linda needing to go back to sleep.


7 posted on 12/22/2020 7:55:28 AM PST by Track9 (English language instruction in china is sponsored by the CCP to facilitate espionage. )
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To: BipolarBob

They’re All Gonna Laugh At You, Carrie.


8 posted on 12/22/2020 8:01:10 AM PST by RckyRaCoCo (Please Pray For My Brother Ken.)
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To: BipolarBob

From Pelosi? Then I actually expect _crumbs_ from a slice of cake! And it may be “free” to Nanzi, but the People pay for it!


9 posted on 12/22/2020 8:04:01 AM PST by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: BipolarBob

I thought $600 was just crumbs, Nancy? You mean we’ll get a whole slice?


10 posted on 12/22/2020 8:04:54 AM PST by Yo-Yo (is the /sarc tag really necessary?)
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To: BipolarBob

11 posted on 12/22/2020 8:07:00 AM PST by Red Badger ( “The goal of socialism is communism.”... Vladimir Lenin)
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To: BipolarBob

Keep the damn cake. I would rather had 1200 bucks. Our children’s children will still be paying for these stimulus packages. Give me that cash.


12 posted on 12/22/2020 8:09:58 AM PST by glimmerman70
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To: BipolarBob
Wow, did she really say that?! She's a regular latterday Marie Antoinette playing shepherdess.


13 posted on 12/22/2020 8:10:22 AM PST by Blurb2350
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To: Blurb2350

In Marie Antoinettes context, “cake”is the stuff left over in the frying pan or pots when you’re done cooking.

“Let them eat cake” was not indicating she wanted people to have delicious food at a bad time in history. It was her way of saying “let the people starve”.


14 posted on 12/22/2020 8:15:19 AM PST by Celerity
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To: BipolarBob

I want a membership to the “fruit of the month” club!!!


15 posted on 12/22/2020 8:27:54 AM PST by joethedrummer
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To: nascarnation

BOL. Wilford Brimley liked to visit the counties N of Gay Frisco.

Haven’t seen him for a few years.


16 posted on 12/22/2020 8:30:49 AM PST by Grampa Dave (If voting could change anything, they would not let us do it...!!! Posted by glasseye, 12/19/2020!! )
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To: BipolarBob

Illegals will get $1800 and three pieces of cake.


17 posted on 12/22/2020 8:32:40 AM PST by KarlInOhio (The greatest threat to world freedom is the Chinese Communist Party and Joe Biden is their puppet.)
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To: BipolarBob

Ha!

That was great!!


18 posted on 12/22/2020 8:37:49 AM PST by redinIllinois (Pro-life, accountant, gun-totin' Grandma - multi issue voter)
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To: BipolarBob

I hope it has a sedative in it.


19 posted on 12/22/2020 8:42:05 AM PST by tinamina
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To: BipolarBob

$900 billion stimulus bill
Wonder how much of it can be traced?.

KICKBACK City is back in business.


20 posted on 12/22/2020 8:46:55 AM PST by Vaduz (women and children to be impacIQ of chimpsted the most.)
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