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Cleveland Indians Change Name To 'Cleveland Genderless Sports Players With No Discernable Racial Features Or Specific Ethnic Background'
Babylon Bee ^
| 12/15/2020
| Babylon Bee
Posted on 12/16/2020 9:05:26 AM PST by BipolarBob
CLEVELAND, OH—Due to mounting pressure from a growing consensus of 12 people on Twitter and The New York Times, the Cleveland Indians have finally chosen to change their team's name and get rid of the highly offensive "Chief Wahoo" mascot. After testing several new names with focus groups, the owners finally settled on the highly non-offensive title "Cleveland Genderless Sports Players With No Discernable Racial Features Or Specific Ethnic Background."
"After listening to the earnest pleas of a few recent college grads who sat through a Native American History course once, we realized something had to change," said owner Paul Dolan. "Once we make this change, we expect the lives of indigenous people to improve exponentially."
In addition to the name change, the Cleveland Indians will also replace Chief Wahoo with a generic, genderless, racially ambiguous grey face with purple hair.
Activists are continuing to push the organization to do more to right the wrongs brought about by decades of racial insensitivity. In response, the team will offer free season tickets to anyone named "Wahoo."
TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; buttercups; cleveland
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Well, this is what is now called progress. I hope everybody's happy.
To: BipolarBob
Seriously: Since Cleveland has the rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum, I suggest the name — the Cleveland ROCKERS. How’s that?
To: BipolarBob
Still looks like a guy. Needs more work
3
posted on
12/16/2020 9:07:32 AM PST
by
FatherofFive
(Go to the gym. Go to the range. Winter is here)
To: BipolarBob
4
posted on
12/16/2020 9:07:51 AM PST
by
silverleaf
(Age Takes a Toll: Please Have Exact Change.)
To: BipolarBob
To: BipolarBob
How about Cleveland Generic Human?
Or Cleveland Pierogis?
6
posted on
12/16/2020 9:09:19 AM PST
by
OpusatFR
To: BipolarBob
Sorry, but, that name has already been reserved as the new name of the Washington Football Team.
7
posted on
12/16/2020 9:09:52 AM PST
by
hollywood
(A FearBro/FluBro Mutt)
To: BipolarBob
How about Cleveland Codpieces?
Or more politically correct - Cleveland Sluggards
8
posted on
12/16/2020 9:11:27 AM PST
by
detch
(")
To: detch
How about the Cleveland - What Did You Expect?
9
posted on
12/16/2020 9:12:29 AM PST
by
Grimmy
(equivocation is but the first step along the road to capitulation)
To: BipolarBob
I was kind of hoping for “Redskins”, since that name is available.
10
posted on
12/16/2020 9:12:29 AM PST
by
brownsfan
(The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.)
To: BipolarBob
How about Cleveland Zeros?
11
posted on
12/16/2020 9:14:20 AM PST
by
Grampa Dave
(Our 2nd Civil War started, Friday, December 11th, 2020! As we can not have real elections anymore)
To: BipolarBob
“Cleveland Idiots”
Covers all the bases and is short, will fit on the march nicely.
12
posted on
12/16/2020 9:16:29 AM PST
by
SaxxonWoods
(Donald J. Trump is the rightful President of the USA and his own party won't admit that.)
To: SeekAndFind
How bout the Cleveland Wimpians.
13
posted on
12/16/2020 9:17:11 AM PST
by
unixfox
(Abolish Slavery, Repeal the 16th Amendment)
To: SeekAndFind
Seriously: Since Cleveland has the rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum, I suggest the name — the Cleveland ROCKERS. How’s that?
~~~
14
posted on
12/16/2020 9:17:57 AM PST
by
z3n
To: BipolarBob
How about "Cleveland Erie Fires"?
That's shorter than "Cleveland At Least We're Not In Toledo"
15
posted on
12/16/2020 9:21:05 AM PST
by
Bernard
(No tag today. Maybe tomorrow.)
To: BipolarBob
DC already has the Wimp logo, how about a guy bending over with an O for bent Over?
16
posted on
12/16/2020 9:21:14 AM PST
by
Semper Vigilantis
(FYI: People SUCCEED, States SECEDE.)
To: BipolarBob
Prime Minister Modi: to avoid accusations of racism India will change its name to Cleveland - H/T thepeoplescube.com
17
posted on
12/16/2020 9:22:39 AM PST
by
Heartlander
(Prediction: Increasingly, logic will be seen as a covert form of theism. - Denyse O'Leary)
To: BipolarBob
Wait a minute!
Do you mean to tell me that 12 people on Twitter and The New York Times have STANDING? WTH is happening? Am I in the twilight zone?
18
posted on
12/16/2020 9:23:28 AM PST
by
Semper Vigilantis
(FYI: People SUCCEED, States SECEDE.)
To: Bernard
19
posted on
12/16/2020 9:25:05 AM PST
by
MHGinTN
(A dispensation perspective is a powerful tool for discernment)
To: Bernard
How about, the Cleveland Intangibles?
20
posted on
12/16/2020 9:28:24 AM PST
by
CVS-20
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