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1 Easy Tip For Abiding By Your Governor's Holiday Restrictions
The Babylon Bee ^ | November 18th, 2020 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/19/2020 11:28:36 AM PST by Heartlander

1 Easy Tip For Abiding By Your Governor's Holiday Restrictions

Many state governors are implementing holiday bans and restrictions. It can be tough to navigate all the rules and regulations, especially when they're conflicting, constantly changing, and not even followed by the people who made them. So, we consulted with health experts and came up with this one easy tip to help you abide by your governor's holiday restrictions:

1. Don't. Resist tyrants and live your life.

(Please note for legal reasons this is satire. We would never advocate having friends and loved ones over, laughing together, sharing stories, eating great food, hugging your grandma, smoking cigars, playing backyard football, honoring traditions, showing gratefulness, or spreading cheer during the holidays during a pandemic. Definitely don't do any of those things.)

We hope this helps!


TOPICS: Food; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 11/19/2020 11:28:36 AM PST by Heartlander
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To: Heartlander

Visit the location of the governors mansion and wear your mask as you bare your buttocks at those therein.


2 posted on 11/19/2020 11:35:47 AM PST by Rurudyne (Standup Philosopher)
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To: Heartlander

The pictured meal looks pathetic.


3 posted on 11/19/2020 12:29:45 PM PST by Dr. Sivana (There is no salvation in politics)
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To: Dr. Sivana
So do the people.

I am almost sad that it is not my year to do Thanksgiving.

But I shall travel, meet with my family and have fun.

Depending on the weather we might play outside games or, if it is raining heavily, play board games. There will be far more then the recommended number of people there and none shall wear a mask.

4 posted on 11/19/2020 12:37:33 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (And lead us not into hysteria, but deliver us from the handwashers. Amen!)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Mom’s doing Thanksgiving, I’m doing Christmas this year, and we have both vowed to pull out ALL the stops!

Granted, we will only have 6 of us at both meals, but that’s because that’s all that is left of our family. :(

Maybe we’ll invite a few cops over, just to, ‘stick it to the man’ while showing our solidarity with those in Blue. ;)


5 posted on 11/19/2020 12:45:03 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust post-Apocalyptic skill set. )
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To: Heartlander
HAVE GUNS, DUCT TAPE, A SURDY CHAIR AND WEBCAM ALREADY TO GO.
6 posted on 11/19/2020 12:46:54 PM PST by conservativeimage (This isnt an election. Its a lawsuit. Its the absolute end of traditional voting.)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin
This year I do have Christmas.

I plan to pull out all the stops. There are currently 17 people on the guest list but it generally grows. I will have to set up a third table at least.

7 posted on 11/19/2020 1:01:49 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (And lead us not into hysteria, but deliver us from the handwashers. Amen!)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Sounds wonderful! :)


8 posted on 11/19/2020 1:49:33 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (I don't have 'Hobbies.' I'm developing a robust post-Apocalyptic skill set. )
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To: Rurudyne

Great idea!


9 posted on 11/20/2020 2:59:15 PM PST by Bookwoman (And I am unanimous in that.)
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To: Heartlander

I ❤ The Bee!


10 posted on 11/20/2020 3:01:21 PM PST by mewzilla (Break out the mustard seeds. )
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