Skip to comments.Pollsters Claim Their Polls Were 100% Correct, But Everyone Voted Wrong
Posted on 11/04/2020 2:57:48 PM PST by BipolarBob
U.S.After grossly miscalculating the election results in almost every possible way, pollsters are insisting that their polls were indeed 100% correct except that everyone just voted wrong.
"We stand by our polling 100%," said Ned Boop, who is a very smart pollster who wears fancy-looking glasses. "Our methodology and results were entirely correct and we're also very intelligent. It's just that all the stupid people we polled voted incorrectly like dumb-heads."
CNN is also backing the findings of their pollsters who predicted the complete opposite of almost every single thing that actually happened on Election Day.
"We believe our pollsters are owed an apology from the American people," said one of the CNN guys who sit in the background of the TV set during broadcasts while pretending to look at a monitor. "It was cruel and inconsiderate of them to make our pollsters look this bad by voting differently than all our very smart pollsters thought they would."
Nancy Pelosi also shared outrage at the American people for defying the pollsters and has promised to introduce legislation requiring voters to obey the pollsters during the next election.
At the time of publication, pollsters are now enthusiastically predicting a 1000-year Democrat reign.
Again, I fail to see the satire in this. That was the whole point of these push polls - to tell voters how to vote.
That’s why BabylonBee is the most trusted name in news. They’re much more reliable than CNN.
I tell my teenage kids, polls have changed. They used to be fact gatherers trying to be predictive, now they’ve been politicized and weaponized tools trying to be persuasive. Take them with a gain of salt.
All of us are too pissed off for this crap by Babylon Bee.
I’m as upset as you. I’m looking for some stress relief. Just ignore it.
I’m not saying it isn’t funny, but it would be like Rodney Dangerfield telling one-liners at your mother’s funeral. It’s clearly funny, but I can’t laugh at it.
This time the joke’s on the Bee, I assume they published this before the fraud tsunami hit. Now the pollsters are starting to look like Nostradamus.
Totally off topic, but is there not an uncanny resemblance of these events to the “two witnesses” scenario of Revelations?
The death is allegorical rather than literal in this case. The reaction of the wicked world in the great city is very much the same.
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